mortal weakness

the sound of cardboard scraping against itself makes me violently uncomfortable.

something about the dryness of the sound makes me squirm and wince with visible physical discomfort, as if my body had just been covered in scales and someone was rubbing them the wrong way with sandpaper.

i feel it in my left ear too, as if a bubble had filled up with water inside and sonar was being pulsed thru to my eardrum, a million vibrations threatening to pop and flood my ear with this menacing sound, my human equivalent to what i imagine a dog whistle's effects are on canines.

this makes christmases and birthdays and other celebrations that occasion giftwrap potentially dangerous. i must exercise delicate caution when folding paper or assembling gift boxes. paper products, when rubbed together, create a sound that is hardly a sound, mostly a sensation, and from which ear plugs or other devices provide no protection.

this debilitating idiosyncracy has prevented me from entering an otherwise promising career in paper arts, or the decorative giftwrapping sciences.

instead, i teach special ed in South Central, and encounter my mortal weakness when opening mail, unwrapping packages, opening boxes of cereal.

*shudder*
-stef


edit: apparently, i'm not alone. at least matt "l.o." l. agrees that this sound "makes him want to die." but other ppl seem to love that sound. there must be a name for this neurosis?

squirrel nuts

the aforementioned squirrel encounter.


squirrel nuts from stephan!e lee on Vimeo.

animal encounters

i don't know what it is about today, but i'm having all sorts of wild encounters with nature. maybe it's the change of time; humans and animals are crossing paths in ways we shouldn't b/c of mass confusion. too many creatures scurrying about their business on overlapped schedules...

as i was leaving the school parking lot, two large crows were hopping the fence around the cars, snapping at each other and using their beaks to pluck at a tangled yard of police tape.

at grad school, in a lecture hall after library hours, i encounter a cantankerous squirrel who apparently decided grading papers was a far less interesting use of time than running around between rows of seats and fending off rabies with a 5 foot metal pole. (video forthcoming...)

after returning home, finally, i am stalked to my apartment door by a large feral cat/ possum who shines her electric eyes at me before jumping off the banister. whoa!

and then there's the post-adolescent male humanoid, lumbering out from his cavernous dwelling to forage for food. he scratches himself, squinting in the kitchen light, and, lacking the necessary implements (pot and spoon), resorts to its typical diet: microwaveable hotdogs and white bread. food he can hold in his hands. behold, the urban male.

fascinating discoveries in this jungle!
-stephan!e

leisure

listening to my little cousin make bird noises as he sleeps. i am cradling a book of short stories in my arm, drowsy from drinking too many glasses of milk. it is not yet 10:30 and the house has grown quiet with weariness.

it is finally the weekend. we are free to fall asleep early.

forgotten sounds

sitting on the floor in my room, brewing tea, i hear a sudden and strange sound. i can't identify its location, it seems to be coming from all around me. a weird hissing, crackling sound. at first like tv static, but it gets louder and moves around the walls.

and then it sounded like fire, burning. i looked up, to my side, where is the fire coming from??


and then i heard the tapping on the window.

i heard the gentle tapping, splattering, splashing on the glass, and then realized what i heard before was rain on my rooftop.


and i was sad because i'd apparently forgotten the sound rain makes.


and sadder still: in the time it took me to write this, the rain has stopped.

-stephanie