liveblogging the Oscars

Best Actress winner Marion Cotillard, looking radiant - her speech was definitely the highlight of the evening, in my honest opinion.

screw Carpetbagger. this snarky chick and her snippy friend Brandon had our own little (unplanned) blog-fest for the 80th Academy Awards!

while i sat in my room with the telly on, a cup of peppermint tea in hand and my senior project books spread around me, Brandon and i chatted back and forth about the Oscars, facial hair, and it was a love fest!

so here are the Oscars, as experienced thru our unabashedly snarky commentary:

me: hi, are u watching the oscars?

10:15 PM Brandon: yeah

me: i LOVE marion cotillard

her speech nearly made me cry

she is so gorgeous

Brandon: yeah, seriously. I think i would have been funny if any one of those ladies had won

*would have been happy

i can't think

me: ha

10:16 PM yeah, agreed, but i really wanted her to win the most

well, and julie christie too, but more cuz she's old

Brandon: yeah...I dont know why she was so surprised. She was who i was expecting haha

julie christie was incredible though in that movie

me: yeah she was

Brandon: she definitely deserved it as well

10:17 PM and I really liked Cate's reaction

me: yeah i love her!

Brandon: she looked so incredibly happy for Marillon it was ridiculous

me: i loved how she was so thrilled for Marion

yeah, haha

Brandon: i dont know what is up with my typing tonight

me: mine was like that this morning

i was hitting all the wrong buttons

and saying words i didn't mean

ok wtf

10:18 PM it seems like Jon Stewart is trying too hard to be funny

OMG is Glen Hansard going to sing??!!

10:19 PM YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

Brandon: holy fuck that was a huge orchestra for that one little intro part lol

10:20 PM me: yeah, haha

i think it's the orchestra that plays the exit music too tho

oh, and Glen is sans beard

i hope they win the Oscar

i feel like they deserve it more than the other acts so far, which have been kinda shitty to be honest

10:21 PM i love how Glen is playing his beat up guitar too

10:22 PM aw, they were cute

10:23 PM Brandon: jack nicholson, however, is not lol

he kind of seems like the ultimate creeper to me

me: yeah, i think that's kinda a persona he's cultivated over the years

10:24 PM wow, some of these older movies look AWFUL

Brandon: thats what makes them so good lol

me: aw, it's the Dragonheart theme!

Brandon: i love bad old movies

me: i LOVE that movie

i really want to watch it now

10:26 PM ok, wtf, Oliver! was a best picture?

and Rocky?

that seems wrong

Brandon: i FUCKING love amadeus!

i had no idea that was a best picture

10:27 PM that makes me so happy

10:28 PM me: i love that movie too

it's so creepy

7 minutes

10:36 PM me: that was weird how they zoomed in on Nicole, rather than the guy who was actually getting the award

wow, the camerawork here is ridiculous

it's EVERYWHERE

Brandon: yeah...this is what one of my friends wrote in his live-journaling of the event:
10:32 -- What the fuck is that diamond necklace-ish thing hanging off of Nicole Kidman? I'm sure it's worth a bazillion dollars, but it's only favoring one of her titties and it looks so weird.

10:37 PM me: oh no, are they going to play the music on him?

haha

Brandon: i dont think they play the music for the special people awards

me: it does look a little chintzy

i hope not

but they might as well since they're not focusing the camera on him

it seems like no one there is listening

10:38 PM Brandon: haha! they should showed this old guy who was sleeping lol

me: haha

10:40 PM this is horrible, i'm not getting anything done b/c the tv is on

Brandon: me neither...I decided to instead try to catch up on some of my photo uploading lol

10:41 PM me: ooo that at least sounds like a useful way to spend the time

10:43 PM wow, i haven't seen any of these foreign lang films!

Brandon: I really wish there was an easily accesible way to see the foreign language films and short animated features

me: agreed!

shorts are esp hard to find

10:45 PM Brandon: I know i hate that

I would love to be able to see them but i have no idea where to find them

10:46 PM me: i love how they take the time to make the song performances so elaborate

Brandon: yeah...these are ridiculous productions

10:47 PM me: Once's wasn't

Brandon: not at all lol

it was just the two of them and their little instruments

and everything else...HUGE production values!

me: + a wall of guitars, but they weren't dancing

10:48 PM they coulda added some pyrotechnics at least

i mean come on!

10:49 PM i like how John Travolta just waltzed in

because u're a song and dance man, John!!

"Falling Slowly" ftw!!!

10:50 PM Brandon: if august rush wins i won't be AS upset as if enchanted wins

yay!!

me: YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

Brandon: she's so effing young

me: oh they're so cute!

how old is she?

Brandon: i think it's more disturbing than cute lol

10:51 PM she's 19 now i think...and they 'fell in love' when she was like 13 or something

and he's like in his early 40's now i think

me: whoa, weird

10:52 PM and i like how she didn't even get to speak

HA, 'male menopause'

you mean a hot flash, Steve?

10:53 PM Brandon: i love steve [spielberg] lol

me: i like chatting while we watch the oscars, it makes it more fun

Brandon: it's ALMOST like watching them together lol

10:54 PM me: hah

Brandon: which i guess we just should have done in the first place!

but i didnt know you were going to watch them

10:55 PM me: yeah, we probly should have watched them together

u're still welcome over, if u'd like

tho i thought u were doing homework

Brandon: oh gosh no!

i never do homework anymore lol

i will probably try to get something done after the show though

10:56 PM me: yeah, in like another hour?

or are they already almost over?

Brandon: im not sure

me: i have no idea what's been announced

i haven't even really been paying attn

did they do the shorts?

10:57 PM Brandon: yeah

me: aw, that's so cute that they're letting her say something

Brandon: yeah, her microphone got cut off i guess

too bad it has to be done so awkwardly lol

10:58 PM me: yeah, seriously

but she was well-spoken

HAHAHA

that was the BEST anecdote EVER

"let's have them kiss"/"but they're both guys!"/ "but this is Hollywood!"

10:59 PM Brandon: yeah, they're cute

11:00 PM me: they didn't do the lead actors yet right?

i think that's one of the last ones

Brandon: they did supporting, and lead female

me: maybe before the Best Pic

yeah they did all the actress oscars

who won supporting again?

11:01 PM Brandon: i cant remember right now lol

me: i can't either...

Javier Bardem!

he won one...

Brandon: oh, and tilda swinton

me: oh, right
[commercial break...]

6 minutes

11:07 PM Brandon: i love eli stone!

11:08 PM victor garber makes me so happy, and he sings in the show and it's delightful

and the lead actor is rather dapper

me: really?

i was just going to say how awful that show looked, haha

Brandon: i also love amy adams

I just really like shows that have a fantastical edge to them

like pushing daisies

11:09 PM me: yeah, she's cute

ooo i hope the guy from Radiohead wins [the best original score]

Brandon: im really surprised i haven't really heard much about the kite runner

me: oh, nevermind... [Radiohead guy not nominated]

yeah, me too

11:10 PM Brandon: it didnt seem to get any kind of attention at all when the book was so huge

me: ok, so i think James McAvoy is totally hot

11:11 PM Brandon: he is very easy on the eyes

i think he generally looks better without the scruff though

me: and the voice ain't bad to listen to

agreed!

Brandon: he doesnt really grow good facial hair

it's too patchy

me: it should either be a fuller beard or none at all!

haha

i wonder why he went with the facial hair

Brandon: yeah...you would think SOMEone would let him know it needs to go

11:12 PM me: ha, yeah

Tom Hanks hasn't been in a good movie in a while...

Brandon: that is true

11:13 PM me: was that real-time? [army officers announcing Oscar nom's and winner from Baghdad]

11:14 PM or did they record that in advance u think?

Brandon: i have no idea...i wasn't really paying attention

i feel like real-time would be risky

but otherwise it would hurt the secrecy thing i would think

me: that's what i'd think

11:15 PM hm, i really want to see this doc short now

Freeheld (note to self to look up later)

11:16 PM hm, lots of war movies

do u think Sicko will win?

11:17 PM Brandon: i have no idea...it's the only one i've heard of, but there's kind of a general anti-michael moore thing, so who knows

me: yeah

wait which one is this?

i don't even fell like they announced it earlier, haha

Brandon: haha

11:18 PM yeah i dont know

that was weird...like four people messaged me all at the same time and i have no idea who these people are

me: haha, weird

oh, i think this was the one about Abu Ghraib?

11:19 PM i'm glad u're so popular, haa

oh Elton John, i love him [original song montage]

Brandon: i guess...i dont talk to people i dont know generally speaking though

me: did he win for "Circle of Life"?

that would be fantastic

5 minutes

11:24 PM me: i really want to see Michael Clayton

Brandon: i effing love ratatouille

11:25 PM and i REALLY wanted to see savages

me: and the Savages

Brandon: i'm sad i never knew when it was out

and what the hell is diablo [cody] wearing? lol

me: she looks fun tho

Brandon: well, she was an exotic dancer lol

11:26 PM me: haha, yeah

Brandon: im sure she's VERY fun

wink wink lol

me: let's try to find The Savages somewhere

it looks good

11:27 PM Brandon: I was looking forward to seeing it for a while because i pay VERY close attention to anything laura linney is in, and I never really saw it being released anywhere

me: it seems like it got a really limited release

Brandon: it's not even so much that I'm a huge laura linney fan for her, but she's just always in really really good movies

me: i LOVE laura linney

she's so cute

Brandon: she is really cute

me: yeah, she is

Brandon: i love her face

11:28 PM me: and phil seymour hoffman is great in everything he does too

i like her dimples

she just looks really expressive
[commercial break]

oh god, this new oprah show looks HORRIBLE

11:29 PM lots of exasperated yelling...

Brandon: i didnt realize it was its own show...i just assumed it was something she was doing on her own talk show

i love jack lemmon

me: aw, i LOVE Jack Lemmon

Brandon: haha

11:30 PM me: aw...

ooo [Helen Mirren]'s elegant

Brandon: indeed she is

11:31 PM me: Forest Whitaker is great too

Brandon: she's always seems so poised and distinguished

11:32 PM me: now there's a moustache that should win an oscar [on Daniel Day Lewis's full moustache in There Will Be Blood]

Brandon: MMMHHHMMMM

11:33 PM despite all the horrible reviews, i still really want to see sweeny todd

i just feel like it would be a lot of fun

me: but i hope he doesn't win (daniel day lewis)

i really want to see in the Valley of Elah

i dunno, johnny depp in a musical makes me cringe

ooo, Viggo is delicious looking

11:34 PM Brandon: oooo the little girl with him is adorable!

me: oh, he [Daniel Day Lewis] just looks so smug!

Brandon: i feel like this is pretty much an exact repeat of the SAG awards...it's all the same people winning

11:35 PM at least for the big awards

me: boo

Brandon: oh my god! another random message! what the hell is going on

me: wow, that was an elaborate metaphor

Brandon: indeed it was haha

he's got moxy!

me: yeah, seriously, Brandon, why so popular?

11:36 PM Brandon: i just want to know who these people are!

and how they all have my screenname and why they're all trying to talk to me now

me: weird...

DDLewis shoulda kept his moustache

11:37 PM Brandon: it's pretty old skool

me: he could bring it back

Brandon: he indeed could

5 minutes

11:43 PM me: ooo who do you think for director? [Coens win]

Brandon: i think that was a given

me: oh, i was gonna guess them

really?

Brandon: oh totally

me: i was kinda thinking PT Anderson had a shot

oh they [the Coens] are so boring to listen to tho

Brandon: this movie has won at all the award shows

me: u'd think they'd be more interesting as ppl

11:44 PM Brandon: im sure they'll probably win best picture too

me: yeah, i guess u're right

11:46 PM welp, you called it

Brandon: i guess i should see it lol

although, crash is a movie i probably could have missed

me: it's good

yeah, NOT a fan of Crash

Brandon: me neither

i HATE how much attention it got

11:47 PM me: me too!

who's this guy?

Brandon: i think if it didnt get as much attention i might have liked it a little better, but I think it was way over sold

he's the other producer of the movie

and i LOVE that frances mcdormand married one of the coen's

me: oh yeah, Crash was so totally over-rated

Brandon: i think it's cute

me: really?!

that is cute

i love her too

Brandon: they got married after Fargo

11:48 PM me: which one?

i hope not the smallish one

he just seems jerky

what's up with the Kenny G denouement music?

Lacanian Others: on love and the movies

"there are three absolutes: Life. Death. and Love."
- Dr. C.P. Gause
---
"i'm a thief, and a liar."
"it's OK. i like you anyway."

---

it's hard to say what makes you love someone. i'm beginning to suspect love is something we created in the movies. every date out on the town getting dinner and drinks is reenacting something they saw on the screen. every move is a reflection of something they've seen. this isn't reel life, this is reality.

are we doomed to search for these projected loves, extant in only the collective imagination of our generation? will we lose forever in these battles because we haven't learned that the enemy is our selves?

we are searching for ideas, images, tautological feelings we've been conditioned to want, by advertisements and soaring movie soundtracks. we're trying to live the dream, to live what we see, to feel, to be. we internalize these ideas, then become frustrated when our "Others" don't project the images we'd had in mind. is that love?

the psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan said that love is the thing we don't have that we are trying to give to someone who doesn't exist. in other words, a null set between the self and a nonexistent other... so sad, but canonical post-freudian psychology!

[mp3's, yousendit]
The Idea of You - The Neo-Futurists.
Our Life Is Not a Movie, Or Maybe - Okkervil River.


-stephan!e

THE DEPARTED vs. INFERNAL AFFAIRS

"Thanks, Hollywood, you've uncovered a new way to simultaneously congratulate yourself while offending the basis of your success." -Brian Hu

---

everybody's talking 'bout the Oscars! all my friends have been asking for my film fan opinion on the results, and tho i don't feel inclined to go into depth on my disappointment in the Academy (who, let's face it, base decisions less on merit than industry politics), i will say that i was most thoroughly upset by THE DEPARTED's win for best screenplay adaptation.

i will concede that THE DEPARTED (TD) deserved its win for editing and directing. i thot Thelma Schoonmaker and Martin Scorsese's wins were a testament to what longtime partnerships and friendships can do for a film. (they were longtime NYU film school friends, and they've been working together for most of their careers (and with such wonderful results! TD really needed a female perspective, and how wonderful that the film was in some large part the vision of a woman!)

i'll even admit that i was intensely hoping Marky Mark Wahlberg would win for his role as Dignam, a short-tempered fiery wise-crack cop.

TD was really not a bad film. in fact it was great. i remember loving it. but what irks me is that in his Oscar acceptance speech, Bill Monahan remembers to thank everyone, but fails to acknowledge the original story writers, Wai Keung Lai and Siu Fai Mak, the ones whose work he basically co-opted and claimed as his own, whose writing saved him unquantifiable amounts of time and creative labor.

furthermore, when Monahan went up to take the Oscar, the announcer said that "THE DEPARTED is based on a Japanese film." err, wrong. it is based ("based" being a significant understatement) on the Hong Kong original, INFERNAL AFFAIRS. and in the fall, when i first learnt this, promised a more thorough comparison than the one currently here.

so, as promised, and in light of recent events, i present my comparison of THE DEPARTED and INFERNAL AFFAIRS...
-stephan!e

"GNOME WINDOW"

here, for the first time ever in my personal blogging history, i present to you the final product of many days of hard work with my trusty camera, interminable patience, and fortuitous sunsets...

read it as you would a film (that is, by reading the images, not the words):

---

for the curious: "GNOME..." was a huge hit in my media aesthetics class. when my professor went around asking us how many pictures we took to get our final products, my peers all said "oh about 20 pictures, and i only used 18." they got to me and i was like "oh well i took about 350 photos in total. i only used 34." everyone just kinda stared at me... my professor alerted everyone to the "Hitchcock" in the class. considering my influences, i'll take that as a HUGE compliment!

unfortunately, though, the project + a paper resulted in my first ever full-out all-nighter. that is, i didn't sleep a wink the entire night. as of 5 pm today, i was going on 44 straight hours without sleep. suffice it to say, i am literally collapsing.

so, adieu.
-stephan!e
(who has decided she's going into the movies, to be a gaffer.)

call him geoff. but do not let him fool you...

my media aesthetics class is working on photographic storyboards, and i just began work on mine an hour ago.

allow me to introduce the star of my project...

his name is geoff. he is a gnome. he is small, but do not doubt him: he will beat ur ass.

he's beating mine.

b/c as photogenic as he seems right now, his lucid charm and stifling wit are quite difficult to capture on film. allow me to demonstrate in exhibits A, B, and C:

he's looking kinda blurry, isn't he?

anyway, i came home from a meeting with a living wage comrade, and the sunset was so beautiful -- this bright orange creamsicle strip floating above a blueberry horizon -- i just had to photograph it. and then i recalled my assignment, and how funny it must've looked to outsiders to see me pressed against my window, so intently documenting this transitory moment.

then i looked up at the window pane, where my gnomes reside, and thot, "well, this could be a compelling filmic opportunity."

and why not? Hitchcock used his actors as props, being of such strong directorial mind and firm vision that he didn't want them to interfere with his artistic vision of what the film should be. he crafted his story boards down to the last detail, and merely used his actors to bring them to life.

seeing as how i'm on a Hitchcock kick as of late, i thot it synthetic to try the Hitchcock method myself...

only problem is, i don't have a narrative as of yet. i'm still waiting for a flash of creative inspiration. unfortunately, my media aesthetics class will not permit non-narrative films. boo.

i only have fleeting ideas. some involving a gnome 10x his size. maybe some death. maybe some ghosts. maybe some use of exhibit B (above).

maybe you can help me? what should geoff do? what should happen to my tiny friend? what kind of things can happen to a contemplative gnome who enjoys watching sunsets? what happens when the sun disappears completely?

any ideas? any suggestions? what shld happen to geoff and how should that look?

perhaps i'm more of an Altman than a Hitchcock...
-stephan!e