celebrate

today is my half birthday. it marks the halfway point in the last year of my 20s. i thought i'd be more afraid to grow old but as i get closer and closer to the edge of the next decade i view it not as being at a peak about to be pulled inevitably downhill, but standing on the edge of a step in the side of a mountain, peering ahead at what the climb holds ahead.

one thing though, about youth coming to a supposed end, is that i'm aware my body and its capabilities might not remain the same. one way i've been made aware of this is in my yoga practice. for now i feel stronger than i've ever been, but i've accepted that might change, that my wrists might one day fail, that my knees may start to ache, that joints will harden. and with as much yoga as i've done in the last 5 years, i realized i've never ever seen myself except in pictures others take of me. this is fine, it's a spiritual and mindfulness thing for me more than anything, but in a lot of ways my practice is also a tribute to my self, my body, and coming to terms with the fact that this vessel, which i always reviled as a child, is capable of so much more than i ever realized. it is possible to transcend the physical, to be more than a body, and that comes first from accepting and loving yourself completely. yoga showed me that. so now the ultimate test: can i film/photograph myself doing my most cherished thing, and still love it, still love my body, not objectify or scrutinize my self as i see it in this mediated mirror?

so for the last 6 months of my 20s, i'm going to try a project: i'm going to document every day with a yoga self-portrait. yoga, more than anything else i've discovered for myself in my 20s, has taught me so much about who i am, the person i want to be, the strength i possess, and how to open my heart to the world around me. it seems appropriate then, to use yoga as a medium for capturing the gratitude i have for life, for my body, for my sense of self, and for the changes in store for me as time marches ever onward. in doing this, i hope to capture the strength i have now, reflect on how i've grown, and the journey i continue to take.

here's to living each day of this decade with as much beauty, grace, strength, passion, groundedness, and mindfulness as possible.

with love,
stef

defying gravity

nothing makes me feel more empowered than doing what seems physically impossible. no better way to remind yourself of your inner strength than mastering an arm balance.

get into this from eagle pose to give yourself an extra boost of confidence.

developing a home yoga practice

hello!

recently i've had quite a few friends tell me they've struggled with developing a home practice, and a few have even asked me to share my approach to developing my own practice. my friend Andrea recently sent me the following email:

Hi Stephanie!
I'm writing because I know you're a seasoned yogi, and I am looking to get into home-practice. Do you have any tips for home practice or yoga sequences that I can do on my own at home? Yoga in the city is so expensive and unfortunately, I cant really fit it into my funemployed budget right now :]
I hope all is well!
Andrea

i was delighted to have the opportunity to share my thoughts with her. developing a strong home yoga practice is, in my humble opinion, like learning to change your own bike tire and cutting your own bangs -- daunting and scary at first, but super empowering; every independent woman should know how to do it! 

As for home yoga practice, I'm happy to offer some of my own thoughts based on what's worked for me. What I've done is tried to replicate favorite routines my old yoga instructor in CA would do. Or try to string together poses that go well together (ex: flowing from warrior II to half moon, or warrior I to dancer's pose). I make a playlist that I can really groove to and try to focus on the music and let that "move" me in my yoga practice. For me, yoga is a compromise for my six-year-old self who always wanted to be a dancer but never got to be on stage -- I absolutely cherish it as a time to listen to music and allow my body to respond in the most graceful ways I can manage to transform it. I know that's probably not very helpful, but those are the things that have helped me in my own home practice.

this pose sums it up: Camatkarasana, "the ecstatic unfolding of the enraptured heart"

More practically speaking, I think easing yourself into it is the best way to go. Maybe find 2 classes a week that really excite you, with teachers whose energy you really dig and whose practice mirrors your own. Use their group classes as a guide and a reference for thinking about developing your own home practice, and try to build your practice slowly, say once a week finding an hour on the mat to work on a series you want to master (hip openers, side stretches, twists and rotations, balance poses, etc.) And the sun salutation is a good building block that you already know really well -- see if you can add poses onto the ends of each sun salutation each time and expand from there. For example, I start out my practice with very basic sun salutations (standing mountain, swan dive, forward fold, monkey, chaturanga, up dog, down dog, repeat) then add on when I feel warmed up (three legged dogs on each side, warrior series, then repeat with rotations, try a dolphin instead of a down dog, transition into arm balances). I think the hardest part of a home practice is really challenging yourself to hold the poses, think about your breath, and think about your body -- usually that stuff is all taken care of by an instructor, but when you go it alone you have to internalize all of it. That's why a strong playlist really helped me at first, not only so I could have something to distract me when I wanted to quit or relax out of a pose, but also because it helped me figure out timing. Once you get used to practicing on your own you get better at knowing the poses you want to work on, integrating breath and movement, and you'll develop a routine or framework that you can return to each time you practice on your own. And the best part: once you fully develop your home practice, you're not confined to an hour in a studio space... you can be at home, or go outside, and hold those poses for as long as you please.

Does this help at all? Sorry if all you really wanted was a link to a site or something... I know a few of my friends have used podcasts on iTunes to help with their home practice... you could try that too if you wanted something more concrete. 

(Nothing sums up the joy of a self-directed practice better than spending nearly two hours blissed out in a park enjoying your poses with the sun shining on you and birds singing all around.)

For those who are interested, here are two playlists I regularly listen to when doing yoga:

"active quietude"

"study" (also a playlist for studying, not very original, i know)

yoga lessons

a great benefit of practicing yoga (vs. doing) is all the really great lessons it teaches you about Life. more on that later.

for now, an example of what i mean:
at the end of your yoga practice, it is extremely important to rest in Savasana.

lots of people don't fully understand/respect this last phase of their yoga practice, and skip out of class early to go about their hectic lives again. yoga is about savoring your body's capabilities, challenging it with effort and maximizing its potential, and then rewarding it with rest.

my current yoga teacher, who has become a Yoda-like mentor to me, is wonderful because she emphasizes the importance of all these aspects equally. yoga is really about slowing down to appreciate what we take for granted - our breath, our mobility, the gift of life, and being present in our bodies. Savasana is the most wonderful time to stop and reflect, to sink into the breath, and with each breath, to feel more deeply connected to the earth and your body.

this is a lesson we can all heed and apply to the rest of our lives, even off the mat. when i go to sleep each night, i try to breathe deep, stretch and spread my limbs wide, allow my head to sink into the pillow and allow my jaw and face to relax. it's the end of the day, you've done what you can with the time you were given, and now it's time to rest. i let that be my meditative prayer to my body and my spirit each night, and it's helped me (on the nights i can remember to do so with intention) to have a more restorative sleep.

and as with yoga, and with sleep, so it is with the work day. i've done all i can, now it's time to go home and rest! ;-)

peace be with all of you,
stephan!e