"Fire is motion / Work is repetition / This is my document / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all defenses."

- Cap'N Jazz, "Oh Messy Life," Analphabetapolothology

Friday, June 26, 2015


today is my half birthday. it marks the halfway point in the last year of my 20s. i thought i'd be more afraid to grow old but as i get closer and closer to the edge of the next decade i view it not as being at a peak about to be pulled inevitably downhill, but standing on the edge of a step in the side of a mountain, peering ahead at what the climb holds ahead.

one thing though, about youth coming to a supposed end, is that i'm aware my body and its capabilities might not remain the same. one way i've been made aware of this is in my yoga practice. for now i feel stronger than i've ever been, but i've accepted that might change, that my wrists might one day fail, that my knees may start to ache, that joints will harden. and with as much yoga as i've done in the last 5 years, i realized i've never ever seen myself except in pictures others take of me. this is fine, it's a spiritual and mindfulness thing for me more than anything, but in a lot of ways my practice is also a tribute to my self, my body, and coming to terms with the fact that this vessel, which i always reviled as a child, is capable of so much more than i ever realized. it is possible to transcend the physical, to be more than a body, and that comes first from accepting and loving yourself completely. yoga showed me that. so now the ultimate test: can i film/photograph myself doing my most cherished thing, and still love it, still love my body, not objectify or scrutinize my self as i see it in this mediated mirror?

so for the last 6 months of my 20s, i'm going to try a project: i'm going to document every day with a yoga self-portrait. yoga, more than anything else i've discovered for myself in my 20s, has taught me so much about who i am, the person i want to be, the strength i possess, and how to open my heart to the world around me. it seems appropriate then, to use yoga as a medium for capturing the gratitude i have for life, for my body, for my sense of self, and for the changes in store for me as time marches ever onward. in doing this, i hope to capture the strength i have now, reflect on how i've grown, and the journey i continue to take.

here's to living each day of this decade with as much beauty, grace, strength, passion, groundedness, and mindfulness as possible.

with love,

Thursday, April 16, 2015


a year ago i was in a really dark place -- i'd never felt so lost, worthless, and depressed. i left my job, my relationship was falling apart, my health was deteriorating, my dad was in a bad accident. i felt alienated and alone and powerless.

happily, a lot has changed in a year! i have an amazing job that i love and allows me to make an impact on people all over the world, an amazing team that feels like a family, a wealth of amazing friends who accept me despite my faults, and my family is in good health, close enough for regular visits, and have been immensely supportive as i've worked to figure myself out. i couldn't be more grateful for the journey of the last year and everything it has taught me about love, life, and my self.

Friday, February 13, 2015

love loud and love often

it's amazing to me how frequently society overvalues romantic relationships while ignoring the power of all the other loving relationships in our lives. every day of the year, but this time of year especially, i celebrate the relationships i am so lucky and blessed to have, with my family, my friends, my colleagues. love abounds around me and i am grateful every day for all of it. #unvalentinesday #galentinesday #palentinesday