end of year crazies

my 6th graders are merely 10 days away from the 7th grade!
which means i am only 10 days away from being done with my two-year TFA commitment and what has been a wild and enormously challenging and life-changing experience. i would be sad if i didn't feel i am really really reaaally earning my indefinite vacation from teaching.

just last week, i had my first fist fight of the year, which is a record, i think. (i believe last year it took only a matter of months). even more impressive, it didn't technically happen in my classroom, but outside my door during the 5-minute passing period. still, it was between two of my students, and since they are now both suspended and having parent conferences, i feel i can safely say that even without me providing my students a count down, they have already begun their familiar end of year race to the finish rituals.

the last weeks of the school year in LA go a little like this:
the heat turns up, and the AC's not working, so the kids are sweaty, uncomfortable, and honestly, a little stanky. (and this has been a fantastically chill summer in terms of temperatures, yet breaking past 75 in Culver City.)
the CSTs were several weeks ago, at the beginning of May, so the kids think they're "done" with school and with learning and they're sole purpose in coming to school is to hang out.
the administrators and some teachers too are getting laid off and losing their jobs, so they start giving little shit what happens on campus.
things inevitably start spiraling out of control before a huge crack down occurs, in which every "problem child" at the school gets sent home early for the summer, an "extended suspension." some good kids and some smart kids get caught up in the mix when they jump into a riot or a fight with their friends and/or siblings, and i lose some of my favorite students, like Ciera who looks like my friend dylan from college, or Salvador, a well-mannered hispanic boy who got caught up in a fight defending himself after someone socked him in the face.

just now i got an automated phone call from the school principal, a message intended for parents, explaining that if students are not kept at home by their parents for the "remainder of their suspension" (that is, the rest of the year) they would be cited for trespassing and fined. wow, what a message for the parents and community. STAY OUT OF OUR SCHOOL YOU HAVE WORN YOUR WELCOME, WE WILL USE FORCE AND LITIGIOUSNESS AND DEMEANING LANGUAGE IF NECESSARY.

at least some good news:
this evening, i got an email from my student Anthony, who wrote me to tell me this:

hi its me anthony i am learning more math because my mom is helping me on it so i am ready for the final test.and by the way this is anthony(last name) in your first and second period class.

i will be glad for all the drama and oppressive incompetence of LAUSD to be over, but i sure am going to miss my students. truth be told, they are the only reason i've been able to keep this up the whole time.

behold! the first ever picture of me and my class (minus several suspended students).

-miss lee

and the results are in...

i gave my students a survey in-class today about School Experience. it had questions about the school, experiences with adults on campus, safety, and asked them questions about their individual classes as well.

the surveys were anonymous of course, and i gave students room to write additional comments to me on the back.

i received extremely positive reviews, which was surprising and made me wonder if my students thought i might punish them for giving me the "wrong" answers. i feel like i've been a good teacher, but i couldn't believe i've been *this* good.

the results showed that in both math and science, 90% of my students strongly agreed that "[Ms. Lee] believes I can do well." 10% of them agreed. 85% of my students strongly agreed that "[Ms. Lee] cares about me." 15% agreed. my students also 100% agreed or strongly agreed that they feel safe in my classroom, while less than 20% could say that about their neighborhood or the school as a whole.

i also had two students write me notes at the end of their surveys:
"Ms. Lee I want you to know that I like your class. And I don't worry about not getting it when you are teaching me because I just catch on to what the whole class is learning about."
"Ms. Lee I want you to know that your class is really fun and interesting. I know and I learned a lot in your awesome class. - anonymous"
that's pretty awesome, right?!

this got me excited, so i made an end of year ONLINE survey. i'm hoping that with the online survey i can ask more detailed questions, specifically about my class, and compile the results to inform my teaching practice, especially if i decide to continue next year.

here's a draft of questions i plan on asking:
4. ms. lee makes me feel welcome in class (strongly agree, agree, disagree, strongly disagree)

5. ms. lee makes me feel safe

6. ms. lee gives me what i need in class

7. ms. lee helps me be the best learner i can be

8. ms. lee helps me with my math when i need it

9. ms. lee understands me

10. ms. lee tries to understand me (all of the time, most of the time, some of the time, not very often, never)

11. ms. lee makes learning math fun

12. ms. lee makes learning math easy

13. i feel ready for 7th grade because of what ms. lee has taught me

14. ms. lee's math class is the best class i've ever taken

15. ms. lee cares about me

16. ms. lee treats me with respect

17. ms. lee treats me and other students fairly
18. i feel ms. lee challenged me to be the best i could be

19. i was a good student in ms. lee's class

20. because of taking ms. lee's class, i feel i have gotten better in math
21. if you could make one change to the class what would it be

22. if you could keep one thing the same what would it be

23. do you have anything you want to say to ms. lee or anything you want her to know?

what else should i ask?!

a south central thanksgiving

i had my advisory students make "hand-turkeys" and write letters of thanks-giving to loved ones. they turned out really well. my student andrew gave me permission to share what he did:

dear dad,
im thankful for giving me a roof over my head. thank you for making money to leave food on the table and clothes on my back.

dear mom, i'm thankful for all the thing you do for me like doing your best to get us to move for a better life.

dear grandmah cristina,
i'm thankful for opening your doors to me because you know that south central is a bad area.

---

and other turkeys my students created:



find something to be thankful for,
and give thanks,
stef

savage inequalities

this week in grad school, i read Shame of the Nation by Jonathon Kozol (author of the other famous book on educational inequity, Savage Inequalities) and rewatched Children in America's Schools.

i didn't know how to feel as i was reading about my own teaching experience, unnerved by the truth of what Kozol was writing and the accuracy with which he was depicting the inner city school where i work every day (i kept thinking, "this is my school"); stunned to realize that nothing has changed since these books were first published (Shame was published in 2005, Inequalities in 1991); disgusted that the concerns given so much media attention have still not been resolved or alleviated.

as so many educators and administrators know and ashamedly admit to knowing, the quality and maintenance of a school/district tell a child so much about what we think s/he is worth, what his/her education is worth. my greatest agony as a teacher has been seeing the disfunction and disorganization rampant throughout the school district, and my school's administration, and knowing full well that it trickles down to the students, and wanting so much to do anything i can to protect them from the disorder – making my room as clean and bright as possible, communicating with them as much as i can about any changes to the schedule or school events, keeping detailed records of all my students' emergency contacts in a portable rolodex, being explicit about the purposes of all their classes – lest it be unclear from administration or other teachers why they are required to go to advisory, for example.

that was an interesting story, btw. i had my advisory students, 7th graders, do a free write on what they thought the purpose of advisory is. most of my students answered with something to the effect of "advisory is for students to get to school on time [and not miss their important classes because they woke up late]". one of my students, Andrew, wrote, very astutely, that

"Advisory is a wake up class. When I say wake up class I mean some students sleep late... and without advisory the students will sleep in most of their classes."

alternatively, when i asked my students to write about what they want advisory to be, they respond, uniformly, that they desire activities, games, the time to converse with one another, art, reading, writing, and "fun!" the same student i quoted before wrote,

"This year I want advisory to be fun and exciting,
so exciting it will make students want to come to school."

in a norm-setting activity this week, i probed the same advisory class to discuss the realities at school, the things they see on a daily basis, and the ideals, the dreams they had for our school and our community. the observations they shared were pretty telling, but most striking was this list from my student Marta:

Reality: I see lots of fights.
Ideal: I want to see peace in school.
Reality: I see some walls that have writing on them, tagging, graffiti.
Ideal: I want to see more murals on the walls.

interestingly, in stark contrast to the assumptions of administrators, school officials, and even faculty regarding what students need during a school day (that they need a prolonged "passing period" to get to their core classes on time), what students themselves identify as necessary is stimulation. clearly what the school is offering is not engaging or meaningful enough to motivate them to come on time, and makes students feel as if school is an unsavory task, an unpleasant obligation. what the school is lacking is excitement, beauty, and life.

this year has been interesting so far. it is still too early to tell how my practice as an educator will grow and change in the coming months, but i am steadfastly trying to listen more to my students and give them a chance for voice and self expression. i am giving more time for collaborative conversation in my lessons, and more activities that require my students to argue and justify their claims (even in math!) i am still undecided whether the community i am seeking to build within my four-walled classroom is enough to combat the negative energies outside, and if the insularity only serves to negate the long-lasting lessons i hoped to instill, but the attempt alone has been worth the energy.

oh, and one more thing: my advisory? not a single person has been late since the start of week 3. i'd say that's pretty good already. :-)

-ms. lee

a poem

submitted to my comment box in my 6th grade class:

the heart pumps within you. it pumps so that you can breathe, live so that you can love one another. you should always cherish the moments you have with your partner.

-ciera

good advice. lately, i have been forgetting this much too easily and much too often.

also: i need to remember that i am not too old or jaded to learn.

-s

haikus

i taught my students how to write haikus this week:

my dog is big and
my chewawa [sic] is smart cool
it can dance.
-Oscar

dogs elephant cats
i have a german shepard
i like all my dogs.
-Francisco

if Mississippi
gave Missuri [sic] a New Jersey
what did Delaware?
-Aaron

Ms. Aguayo and
Ms. Lee are friends and they both
nice and cool both teach
-Victor

sweet vanilla ice cream is good.
food: chocolate chip cookie.
hungry, eat candy.
-Johnny

do the test do
your best or guest [sic]
on the lousey [sic] test
-Diamond

asteroid hit earth
a temperture [sic] was rising
the ground was glowing.
-Francisco

army bombs people
people shop at a walmart
i go to the beach.
-Jose


i bet you didn't know i taught beatnik poets, did you?
-stephan!e