This American Life examines a Chinese life on the assembly line

EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP WHAT THEY'RE DOING AND READ/LISTEN TO THIS RIGHT NOW.

what does it mean for something, everything to be “made in china?”

fascinating/horrifying revelations of the factories and working conditions in china that make all the shit you take for granted.

Shenzhen is a city without history. The people who live there will tell you that, because 31 years ago Shenzhen was a small town. It had little reed huts, little reed walkways between the huts. The men would fish in the late afternoon. I hear it was lovely. Today Shenzhen is a city of 14 million people. It is larger than New York City. Depending on how you count it, it's the third largest city in all of China. It is the place where almost all of your crap comes from.

And the most amazing thing is, almost no one in America knows its name. Isn't that remarkable that there's a city where almost all of our crap comes from, and no one knows its name? I mean, we think we do know where our crap comes from. We're not ignorant. We think our crap comes from China, right? Kind of a generalized way. China.

But it doesn't come from China. It comes from Shenzhen. It's a city. It's a place.

Shenzhen looks like Blade Runner threw up on itself. LEDs, neon, and 15-story-high video walls covered in ugly Chinese advertising. It's everything they promised us the future would be.

[...]31 years ago, when Deng Xiaoping carved this area off from the rest of China with a big red pen, he said, this will be the special economic zone. And he made a deal with the corporations. He said listen, use our people. Do whatever you want to our people. Just give us a modern China. And the corporations took that deal, and they squeezed and they squeezed. And what they got was the Shenzhen we find today.

i find it important to emphasize, that my absolute horror and disgust in reading this is less directed at the Chinese government and the Chinese leaders or even at the Chinese corporate heads who allow this condone this sick, sick operation (though, of course, they are fault here as well). what horrifies me and disgusts me most is actually the fact that American people are totally ok with/ ignorant of / willfully ignorant about it. we condone this kind of human rights abuse, because we want our crap to be cheaper, and we always want more of it.

think about how amazingly, completely backwards and effed up this is:

As a creature of the First World, I expect a factory making complex electronics will have the sound of machinery, but in a place where the cost of labor is effectively zero, anything that can be made by hand is made by hand. No matter how complex your electronics are, they are assembled by thousands and thousands of tiny little fingers working in concert. And in those vast spaces, the only sound is the sound of bodies in constant, unending motion.

modern technology has advanced to such a degree that we (Americans) assume most things  everything is made by machines, even the relatively simpler things that used to be made by hand, like sweaters, and books, even our food. most people probably think we live in the mechanized future, where handcrafted things are a luxury, a long-lost artifact of history and ancient cultures and the pioneers. so in an age of inconceivably advanced technology, where the machines get smaller and more complex and powerful year after year, you would expect these machines to also be borne from the labor and precision of machines. but, in fact, Mr. Disney tells us, they are assembled by hand, millions of precise hands, working repetitively in an unending mechanical whir. and, in fact, these millions of tiny hands are actually cheaper and more expendable than those big machines.

what makes that such a perverse and deplorable realization is compounded by the fact that those big expensive machines are what put people in America out of work. and here is where i get really angry: in America, where we have labor laws and unions and it's illegal to pay your workers nothing and have them work endless days, the big corporations figured it's actually cheaper and better for business to bring in those big machines. that's what happened in the coal industry, and the automobile industry, and many other industries: human labor got replaced with non-stop, wageless, liability-free machines. other corporations, who couldn't use machines (such as computer manufacturers, i guess), shipped the jobs overseas, to China and India, where they could get human hands to build their products and still get paid next to nothing.

and the really terrible thing is, that China's and India's wages keep dropping year after year, to "stay competitive" with one another in the international market for jobs. so you see, this is a compounding problem that grows worse year after year, with no foreseeable end, because the trend in dropping prices of tech products comes at the price of workers' wages and working conditions.

but, slave labor does not necessarily have to exist in order for these markets to exist. if American companies, such as Apple, commit to fair labor practices (as Apple just did, in joining the FLA), they set the standard for business practices around the world. if American companies demand ethical practices from their suppliers and partners, businesses and employers around the world will change to meet the demand. American companies and American consumers need to demand and expect better.

greening my life one small commitment at a time

so i mentioned in my last post how i've been reawakened to environmental issues and how that's been the focus of my volunteering and career aspirations. i don't know how it happened, this resurgence of Planeteerism that was latent until recently, but -- hot dang! -- i am so glad for it.

i watched Food Inc. again a few weeks ago, and if you haven't already, i highly recommend it. the film has lots of commendable qualities: a powerful message, eloquent and stirring testimonies from admirable people, impeccable graphic design, and Bruce Springsteen! plus, this documentary has the rare quality of being simultaneously entertaining, educational, and stimulating. i wish i had seen it in its entirety when i was teaching, because i think it would have been an invaluable text to use in my science class when we were doing a food and nutritional health unit.*

watching Food Inc. again made me really pumped about getting more involved in food justice work. but even before i rewatched the movie, i had been thinking a lot about issues of food safety and origins, GMOs, and corporate control of food supplies, false advertising, and government subsidies that contribute to our declining public health. again, i kinda have my current job to thank: i was drinking a package of Swiss Miss hot chocolate gleaned from my office break room, and i glanced at the ingredients (as i am wont to do). i noticed the package said "no sugar added" but that it was still incredibly sweet, so i wondered if i was imbibing an aspartame cancer cocktail. i was surprised to find it was aspartame-free, but i noticed another ingredient new to my ingredients knowledge: SUCRALOSE (read: Splenda). researching sucralose led me to read about saccharin, which then led me to read about Monsanto, genetically modified organisims (GMOs) and some really crazy court cases involving scientists who tried to publish their research regarding the potential harm GMOs can cause to organisms that eat them (long story short, those scientists were discredited and blacklisted for their work, due to some shady backroom dealings with corporations fearing their names being sullied in the eyes of consumers. it is really crazy stuff that boils my blood to think about. you should read about it: The Pusztai affair). since that day, i've been avoiding fruits and vegetables i suspect have been genetically modified (which is, let's be honest, hard to do in a market so saturated with weird and corporate-backed science, but this guide provides a starting point on how to read labels, and this one on how to avoid Monsanto in your diet). basically, i've been eating organic when i can afford to, and buying locally as much as possible, which, luckily for me, means once a week going to the farmer's market and stocking up on my fruit and veggies for the week.

Food Inc. also inspired me to make this commitment, which i posted to my facebook and twitter as a way of trying to get some dialog going among my friends, as well as being upfront about my commitment to changing my lifestyle to one that is environmentally-aware:
publicly promising myself (yes, on twitter, so you can hold me accountable years from now), when i have the means to do so, to start a container garden or community garden, to try to get at least a third of my food from local farmers or my own garden, to eat a mostly veggie diet, and if my partner and i ever reproduce, to educate our children about their food and their environment and the manipulative ways of the media, and to teach them how to help me calculate our annual household carbon footprint in order to reduce our environmental impact. yes!

and it actually worked: that small post got a lot of responses from my friends, and even helped me build stronger friendships with some people i didn't even know were my Planeteering sisters! i was happy to generate some conversation about food and health, and i also got some great reading suggestions.

but, the cool thing about that initial commitment is that it has easily budded into additional commitments; once you re-examine and change one aspect of your life, you start to look at the rest. and this, i feel, is how huge change can happen on a global level, if individuals do their part to make small commitments that over time can make significant impacts.

take, for example, plastic bag use: i was super excited when i found out California was going to pass the first-of-its-kind (in the States), ballsy law banning the use of plastic bags. but then, when i moved back, i wondered what happened to that bill. well, as i was angered and disappointed to find out, this happened: lawmakers decided they were too "concerned" about the consequences for consumers undergoing extra strain that such a ban would pose. read: they were worried about the fallback from the plastics industry and lobbyists. if they really worried and gave a prudent thought to consumers and the longterm environmental benefits of such a ban, there would be no doubt as to the right course of action. the frustrating thing, of course, is that it's not even a matter of convenience (we could easily replace plastic bags with biodegradable, recycled brown paper bags) or even revenue concerns (Ireland didn't do away with plastic bags, but posed a small tax - 15 cents - to plastic bag use. they saw a drop in use of 90% and millions of euros in revenue. doesn't that sound like the very definition of win-win?) - it is quite simply and clearly just a matter of lawmakers being too scared of their corporate backers coming down on them -- which leads me to a topic for another day: why we need to reform American politics, starting with campaign finance laws.

sorry, i get so sidetracked because all these issues are connected, from their root causes to the anecdotes i want to share about how i became so interested in them. the point of what i'm saying is that, even though lawmakers may be letting us and the environment down, we can still do things, very little things, to make a difference, and that we should not overlook the power of our individual actions. what follows is a list of the small ways i am trying to cut down on my own environmental impacts:

1. as far as plastic bags go, i have endeavored to refuse them. it took a long time to remember my tote bags (such is the danger of the American disposable culture that we become habitualized into accepting plastic out of convenience) but now i never go anywhere without my cloth bags AND glass tupperware in tow. and, i find that the more i am upfront and explicit about not using plastic bags whenever i go out, the people i'm with follow my example, and that is an important ripple effect.

2. at work, i completed a carbon footprint report for the company. this got me thinking a lot about water and electricity use. i signed up to an online carbon footprint tool that helps individuals calculate their annual carbon footprint. i plan on tracking my footprint in order to make it smaller year after year - i figured this would be a fun teaching tool/activity if i ever have kids some day, too. imagine if everyone started doing this - they'd soon see how much electricity and water they use per year, which is staggering when viewed in sum. and, if everyone set reduction goals every year, we could cut down our total impact until finally, we're only consuming at levels that are sustainable to our one earth (did you know we're currently living at a rate that would require 2.5 Earths to sustain?) SO much more fun than calculating your taxes every year! though no less important, of course! ;-)

3. weekends are car-free days! i've been biking to the farmer's market and to pilates classes and starting this weekend, to my volunteering at the Historical Garden. if i must go further than my legs can take me, such as seeing my grandparents who live over 20 miles away, i carpool. how great would it be if everyone took at least one or two days out of their week to enjoy on a bike or walking with their family? my legs are stronger too, and without the use of an equally energy-wasting device: the treadmill/stairmaster/elliptical.

4. no more hairdryers! using a hairdryer to dry your hair is not only bad for the environment because of how much energy it uses, it's also really bad for your hair. i love how many cosmetics and beauty companies try to invent new and exciting chemical creams to help us reduce frizz, repair split ends, and restore color and vibrancy and shine to our hair, while also peddling straightening irons, curling irons, and hairdryers as standard tools for styling our hair. it's ludicrous, self-defeating, time-wasting and expensive! i've never had perfect hair, by any means, but one thing is true: my hair is really healthy (according to an LA stylist, i had some of the healthiest hair he'd ever seen. i was surprised, because at the time i was swimming at least once or twice a week, and going to the beach. and, i told him, "i never style my hair!" he smiled and told me that's totally why my hair was so healthy, i don't suffocate it with products and heat!) i use only three tools on my hair now: shampoo, conditioner, and a wide-toothed comb. i've put down the hairdryer and have taken to letting my hair dry naturally, and at first i was skeptical that my hair would still have the same volume as it used to, but i'm surprised and happy to report: it looks fine. and even better than before, actually, because it's healthy and not over-dried.

5. i've started a limited meat diet. this infographic brochure makes a pretty good case for going veggie if you're concerned about your carbon footprint. i still get the meat shakes from time to time, but i eat meat very rarely now, maybe twice or thrice a week (down from twice or thrice a day!) and i enjoy how energetic i feel when sticking to a mostly veggie/fruit and raw diet. the last time i got my period (sorry, TMI!) my cramps were virtually non-existent because the days leading up to it i'd been eating lots of leafy dark green veggies and fruit - getting lots of iron and water in my system that helped me feel great when i needed it most! my fave lunch lately: whole wheat pitas, tomato basil hummus, 2 cucumbers, one cup of spinach, carrot sticks and a handful of grape tomatoes, all from the farmers' market! i eat that and an apple and some plums and i feel full without getting post-lunch sleepy.

6. i've started reading Treehugger, Inhabitat, and Ecosalon. they're pretty good at offering green news that is intriguing, useful, inspiring, and always well-written! i always find something share-worthy when i peruse their sites. and it's so much more fulfilling to spend an hour of free time at work reading eco-friendly news pieces than trolling through tumblr or facebook.

the takeaway point of this post is: these are NOT extravagantly ambitious goals, by any means. i kept my green commitments realistic, because i wanted to be able to actually achieve them, while still feeling like i'm achieving something and not just making empty gestures. i hope something you read here will inspire you to go out and try your own mini-green-revolution!

Planeteers unite! :-)
-stephan!e



*i fell asleep thru most of it the first time i watched it with ben. i was teaching at the time and as i recall, that was not a good period for successfully finishing movies, tho we watched a lot of really good ones.

bad teachers

i saw this conversation on my facebook feed the other day, when high school students around the country were planning walk-outs in support of teachers and workers in Wisconsin.

a little context first, before i completely tear this apart:

1. Karen is one of my oldest friends. we've been friends since middle school (14 years!) and were best friends in middle school. then, starting in high school, we kinda drifted apart, and now we barely keep in touch. though in some respects i lament our weakened friendship (she was one of my closest confidants), in other respects i am grateful we grew apart, and can totally understand why and how it happened.
2. Karen has always wanted, from as long ago as i can remember, to be an English teacher when she grew up. and now she is one. in our old school district. she, though, took the traditional student-teaching route (unlike my trial-by-fire, teaching in the trenches, going to night-school, TFA version) and has only recently started teaching her own students full-time in her own classroom (i think this is her second year of full-time teaching).
3. i don't know any of these other people. but, i do know that they all live in Kentucky.

OK! begin rant:

this kind of mentality makes me SO ANGRY. first off, that a walkout in support of teachers would be considered an inconvenience and for that reason must be shut-down, demonized, and demeaned. and then, that others would be cheering on this authoritative disregard for students' voices and actions, as if teachers need to win some kind of battle against their students, as if succeeding in enforcing (and forcibly teaching) a deflationist, irrelevant, separatist curriculum is the best thing a teacher could do all day with their students. it's so teacher-centric and irrelevant and so MIND-NUMBINGLY BACKWARDS that it makes me want to raze a magnet school.

the mentality that guides these teachers' practice is one of simple-minded obeisance to "performance standards" and status quo and daily planners written in stone. these are terrible teachers. these are teachers who got into the profession to lord over children and manipulate them into performing daily meaningless rituals so they can feel better about themselves. these are the kinds of teachers who use "because i said so" as legitimate reasons to believe or do anything. these are teachers who see their students' natural curiosity as an annoyance to be quelled and stifled rather than nourished. these are the kinds of teachers i HATED in school and made me want to go into ed policy and teacher training.

it makes me so mad! it is a horrible time to be a teacher, what with all the public scrutiny that teachers have come under lately in light of the bill in Wisconsin, and with the cuts to government funding threatening to take away their jobs, their pensions, their benefits and their pay, and with increasing lack of appreciation for what teachers do, it's a wonder ANYONE still endeavors to undertake this difficult job. it is quite possibly the MOST difficult career AND the most necessary to our society. so, it greatly disheartens me, with all the sh*t that is already happening to the teachers from forces outside the profession, to see that some teachers would voluntarily (and self-congratulatorily!) demean and dismiss the importance of recent political activism. LADIES! if you're not going to join the revolution, at least stand aside and let it happen without you!

[ shakes head ]

terror cells

we had a lockdown yesterday, not because of violence on the perimeter of the school, but because of student revolt on campus. that's right. we had a lockdown to protect us from the students.

apparently, a group of students started a riot during lunch and the security and administrative staff had to do everything short of hosing them down to keep them from climbing the fences.

later, during class change, approximately 100 students organized a "runout" / managed to escape school en masse. the teachers were then quickly ordered to go on lockdown mode, to keep the students in their classes.

it happened again today. the lock-in, that is. rumors of a second escape attempt were spreading thru the student body, and the administration pre-empted it by cancelling 6th period, trapping all students (and teachers) in their 5th periods. no one was allowed in the hallways until the end of the school day, at which point everyone was forced out. after school programs were cancelled, students were ordered to leave campus by 3:15.

teachers talked after school about being attacked: the stampede of students that knocked over one teacher, while students attacked another teacher with paper airplanes. one woman showed me her neck, pierced by a paper arrow, swollen and bleeding. the administration expressed concern for trampling, justifying the use of mace on a crowd of middle schoolers.

when the staff pass each other in the parking lot, we try to understand the students' actions. some wondered if they were trying to protest something, maybe the teacher layoffs, a modern middle school version of a walkout. some found the new food policy a more convincing motive ("you can give them a dress code or lengthen their school day, but don't take away their food! that makes them angry!")

the week's events have sent the school into chaos. no one understands the actions or the motives. they are erratic, unpredictable, and because they seem to have no direction or purpose, the school is at a loss as to how to stop or prevent them, other than physical force or coercion, bribery.

at an assembly, administrators threaten arrests and fines, more mace, expulsion. they use dramatic phrases, "we will find you," "we will keep you safe at all costs," "if you want something changed, write a letter to President Obama." they try to explain how things are gonna go, "you are the students. we are in control," while the auditorium buzzes with energy and rebellion, and the occasional "f*** you!" the students are experimenting with their newfound power, unpredictability and sheer numbers, and in the hallway 5 administrators from the district, with badges hanging around their necks, stand with their hands behind their backs, ready to body slam any children who try to get past them to the exits.

while the comparison has always been obvious, this week's events have stretched experience past mere analogy. the school is a zoo, class changes a running of the bulls, the school is a prison, and the inmates are running the asylum.

all this makes me wonder if there are little terror cells of students plotting their next actions. i wonder if there is a Gitmo equivalent hidden somewhere on this campus. perhaps the elementary school we annexed? i wonder if there will be Patriot Acts and wire-tapping. already i see the parallels: backpack searches in the mornings before entering school, randomly pulling students from classes for questioning. today we were on "High Alert." is that the orange or red threat level?

welcome to the monkey house,
stephan!e

post-Inauguration Day notes

post-Inauguration Day realizations:
-i remember being extremely turned off by the strong Christian fundamentalist undertones in the speeches and ceremony, and especially by this guy:

(edit: and how fitting. the video, like the man, just doesn't seem to want to shut the hell up. it starts without you wanting it to, one of my ultimate peeves when it comes to internet usability: the automatic video that creates loud obnoxious sound when you don't want it)
(edit 2: fixed! - 1/25)

Warren's invocation made me extremely uncomfortable, thinking how the separation of church and state is really just an empty promise. and the part about asking forgiveness from Almighty God when we disgrace our fellow human beings and the environment made me extremely upset and angry, as we are fully aware a war (a genocide) is raging in Gaza, and we are content to just "ask forgiveness," shrug off any awareness of reality, as if it was all in God's plan. that kind of rhetoric is dangerous and had me gritting my teeth the whole time.

-the hope/change sheen is wearing off pretty quickly, too. i've been a huge cynic/buzzkill since november anyway, but i can pretty safely say that i am ready for the novelty of the moment to wear off so America can quit fantasizing and day-dreaming and snap back to reality. things do not change overnight. i don't know why i'm not as excited as everyone else seems to be about the new administration, i guess b/c i don't see substantiating empirical proof for the improvement, and i honestly cannot grasp the significance of having the first Black President. i know, i know, it must be absurd/impossible for other ppl to understand, but i, personally, do not feel that sense of awe and wonderment that everyone else seems to have in seeing a Black man as President. it does not surprise me that Obama is President now, and it makes perfect sense, so i guess i just don't get what all the fuss and pageantry and adoration is about, b/c frankly it just makes sense. i dunno, call me racist if you want to, the funny thing is that i think i feel this way precisely b/c i don't see race as any factor in it.

-i remember being surprised by how charged and passionate my students were around Election Day. i noticed many of my students taking vehement opposition to one another's political views, showing off their limited knowledge of campaign slogans and parroting rhetoric in transparent efforts to back up their support of a candidate they'd chosen to represent a deeper-seated world view and political affiliation. i noticed all my Black kids were for Obama, wore shirts with his face emblazened on the chest, would yell his name as if it were a cheer, would cheer at the mention of his name. the interesting thing about this was that usually, my Hispanic kids would grow silent, look sullen and sink down in their seats, would tell me later when i could hear them whisper, "i wanted Hilary to win." the braver ones would pretend to joke in class, "McCain for President!" what i came to realize later was this stance was chosen not out of opposition, but as reaction. true, some of my Hispanic students' parents probably legitimately supported Hilary and her pro-Hispanic community campaign. but what it came down to, perhaps, was a sign of bitterness towards what had obviously become a race race. when the nomination and the election came to be framed as a race issue, it became less about issues, and more about identity and belonging. who was going to be recognized and included, and who was going to be left out? when it seemed like Obama would win by indisputable margins, the election discussion in my classes became about control, and controlling who gets to stand for one's identity: "if this Presidency is supposed to represent me and my country, i want someone i choose, not someone thrust upon me. i want someone who can understand being the outsider, i want someone who can understand being left out, i want someone who can understand being misunderstood, i want a woman, i want an underdog, i want a Republican..."

fever dream: John McCain hunts people

it is time for me to share a fever dream: i was wandering around in some post-apocalyptic cowboy/western town, and trying to find a way home/ a ride/ a sidewalk, when suddenly my friend Mikey emerged from the woods. there were these 3 emo kids sitting on a bench taking pictures and somehow he materialized. he ran over and gave me a hug, told me not to be scared, and then disappeared.

in the rest of the dream, John McCain was a flesh-hungry vampire who could jump buildings and see in the dark and was terrorizing our little post-Depression town. not kidding. the one thing i kept asking over and over (in my dream) was "is John McCain out hunting ppl today??"

weird, i know. i don't know how my mind comes up with this stuff.

boogie down!

YES!


(for those wondering why this looks so familiar and why this is so unusually funny, it's b/c the base image is from this scene in Zoolander. go figure.)

-stef

a reflection on home and the symbolism of voting

long title. this post became more than i intended it to be when i began.

continuing with my voter anxiety: i have a horrible confession to make: i hadn't planned on casting a vote today. i know! shame! hypocrisy! hisssss!!! i had many reasons, the biggest being that i recently moved and felt confused about my sense of home, and how that translated into bureaucratic paperwork concerning change of address declarations. even tho the DMV and my place of emploi instructed me to change my official home address to my current LA spot, i was still stubbornly inclined to retain my sense of belonging in the midwest. i thought of my last 2 elections and the idea of having a swing vote in Ohio sounded too good to pass up for what seemed like a throw-away vote in CA. my place of residence may be official on paper, but in my heart, i could feel myself torn between three states: my latest voter registration was done in Ohio, but under a dorm room address which hasn't technically been my residence for 3 years now. and my "permanent home address" which is in Lexington, KY – eventhough i went away for school and now for work, i still return from time to time and it is still, indelibly, home. and then my current residence in LA County, CA, which eventhough it's the address on all my bills, my employment papers, and my new (and involuntary!) CA driver's license, is still just a transitional place to stay in my mind, a layover between destinations. i just couldn't figure it out. with a mind like mine, the address line is just too vague and nondescript to account for such arguments regarding identity. and the harsh words at the bottom of all my voter registration papers, warning against felony, perjury, and fraud for inaccurate information didn't exactly inspire confidence in me, nor encourage a speedy decision.

so the time flitted away. every day i would look at the two forms i had printed out (i found differing forms on the internet, one much shorter than the other, both very hard to read and understand, both containing the frustrating address line, neither very helpful or voter-friendly) and literally sweat as i tried to figure out what to do. perhaps i could have sought help, perhaps i could have just done what made sense and registered in my current state of "residence." i dunno, it's hard to explain why i couldn't make a decision. but i will tell you that what should have been a simple task was becoming an existential dilemma and one that was paralyzing me from action. (haha, to which i implore you to imagine how i was at the actual polls! i bet a lot of you might be thinking that maybe ppl like me (that is: indecisive ppl) are best left out of the voting process. and to that i would say, "perhaps you are right.")

anyway, so the time passed and still i could not figure out what to do, until eventually the decision made itself. i missed the window for registering absentee in KY, and then OH, and then CA's window quickly approached and i still wasn't sure what to do. i got someone else's mail-in-ballot in my mailbox and opened it, ready to cast her vote for her, thinking "if her ballot's here, where is mine?" and wondering pseudo-philosophically "if a vote is mailed but never cast, does it still count?" sadly, the law and fear of FELONY on my permanent record prevented me from doing anything, again (do you kinda see what i'm getting at? clearly there's a problem if even an educated and civic-minded person such as myself feels paralyzed from exercising her basic civic duty.)

so eventually, i resigned to not voting. too much stress, too much paperwork, my mind felt twisted and confused and i couldn't figure out what i was supposed to do and how to go about doing it. i gave up on trying to figure out the complications of the system, telling myself it didn't matter anyway, KY would surely go red and i was sure Obama would be pocketing CA (later, i spoke to my parents on the phone and my mom talked about the McCain-Palin signs on the lawn surrounding our house, and KY going republican. "ridiculous!" she said. i love her.) i wished i could vote from ohio, but i had been following polls and was getting more and more sure that it would tip toward Obama in the final days. so i didn't really feel too bad for a while. i pretended i voted already, that no matter where i cast my vote, it wouldn't have mattered anyway. i wasn't realizing the empowering (and potentially disempowering) symbolism of my decision.

when it got closer and closer to the election, i began to resent myself for it. i hadn't given thought to Prop 8 (ban on same-sex marriage – vote no!) and the abortion amendment, and my representatives in the House, or even to the fact that i could vote for Nader if i wanted (which i promised i would, and did! read on...) whenever any one of my students asked me if i voted i of course lied so as not to create in their minds a sense of political apathy or powerlessness. and with all their fervor and excitement, i didn't want to be a buzzkill. of course i was excited too, but i just felt so miserable for regretting my decision and inability to join in.

and so this kept building up until finally today, at the end of my school day, i was talking to Ben. and from across the world in Turkey, he's been following the election coverage, eagerly awaiting the results, and he happened to ask me, very casually, if i voted. "i want to know what is happening with the election. did you vote?" and i had to be honest and try to explain why "no, i did not vote" and why i didn't vote in CA, nor OH, nor even KY. and the more we talked, and the more i tried to explain it, the more ridiculous i felt. and even after i explained it to Ben, it still didn't make sense to me and probably didn't make sense to him either. and for the 2 hours after that, i kept thinking about it, feeling worse and worse, more guilty, more regretful, more hypocritical. i couldn't think about anything else during my professional development meetings after school because i felt like a liar and a hypocrite. the entire time i was supposed to be in department meetings unit-planning, i was trying to forget about my overwhelming sense of guilt. on my drive home, every crowded block i passed, i craned my neck and risked taking my eyes off the road for the brief moment it took to eye the lines at the polls, to observe crowds of ppl waiting to cast their votes, and fill with a sense of excitement and reminiscience for a memory i have of walking the streets in Over-the-Rhine in Cincinnatti, Ohio in 2004, and the electricity of anticipation and solidarity between all the ppl i met in the street, everyone joining together in exercising civic rights and responsibilities. and then i called home trying to reach my dad, who has been known to occasionally skip voting in elections, much to my mom's and my annoyance. after talking to Ben, i thought i would at least call and try to urge my dad to the polls, in case he didn't remember or had made a decision similar to mine. and so he picked up the phone and i asked him, "did you vote?" and he said, very easily and matter-of-factly, that he did, that my mom went in at 8:30 and he went at 9 am before work, and even though it was a 40-minute wait in line, he was happy to do it. and then he asked me, and when i had to explain it to him, i felt horrible. i was born in the states in the '80s and never had to earn my citizenship or fight for my suffrage, but thinking about the opportunity i had to vote, and how i let it go to waste so easily, made me physically ill and uncomfortable. i couldn't live with that.

as soon as i came home, i explained to my roommate that i had resolved, during my drive home, to attempt a provisional ballot, even if it's merely palliative. so we packed into the Prius and drove to our precinct polling location and i went thru all the bells and whistles and waited in all the various lines, told my story over and over to the polling officials (by now, i've gotten good at explaining my confusion) and finally, they handed me a provisional ballot and an hour later, lo and behold:

I VOTED!

i relished reading every single amendment and proposition in detail, using my little pen to punch in my decisions, and enjoying a sense of solidarity with everyone in that room.

oh, and since i'd already decided my presidential vote wouldn't matter to Obama, i cast it very proudly for Nader. :-)

such a relief and happy resolution to a tense couple of months.

watching the celebrations all over the nation reminds me of new year's eve. it feels like a new age is dawning.

love,
stef

p.s. i like comparing this to my last elections/voting post, here. gotta love the images.

a change is gonna come

i am so nervous and excited about tomorrow's election results that i am having trouble doing anything but reminiscing and imagining the future. for the whole of my political and social consciousness, i've only known a world of disappointing Bush policies and political farce. i can almost hardly imagine living in an america i am proud of, where i trust and believe in my government and my president. but, i am ready for a change.

it's been hard for me in the past months to watch all the election coverage and read the news about the grassroots efforts to support Obama and have to remain removed from it. hard for me to feel like teaching my little classes of 6th graders california math and science standards was a better use of my time and energy than campaigning to ensure fair elections. it was hard for me to understand how best to take part in achieving the ideal of america i wanted to see. admittedly, i was never really a huge fan of Obama, but i like the energy and enthusiasm he's breathed into the political process (eventhough i think his stances on policies are kinda lackluster and stale). i think Obama's significance is his function as a symbol of hope, change, and youthful energy, and that is sadly all i'm looking for right now from my political system. the thought of his possible loss is just too tragic to imagine. i get sick to my stomach thinking of the possible repurcussions. i think that if Obama loses this election, millions of young ppl will be forever removed and distrustful of the political process, will lose their belief in that great dream called Democracy.

so here i am: a middle school teacher in south central LA, close enough to one of the few remaining battleground states (Nevada) that skipping work to do political work has been tempting, discussing the main issues (abortion, gun control, same-sex marriage, immigration) with my 6th graders and hoping they take my political excitement home to their parents, incapable of planning a math lesson tonight b/c i keep thinkingabout tomorrow and how our lives might change, and the futures of my 6th graders could change, starting Wednesday, but wondering if, wishing, i could have done more.

it's funny: in the past four years, i think i always imagined things differently. as a freshman in college, having organized and canvassed for Election 04 ("anything but Bush") in ohio and being devastated and heartbroken by the results of those efforts, i was disenchanted and confused and vowed that wherever i was in 08, i'd be working even harder for election and campaign efforts. i imagined myself as a grad student, going door-to-door, leafletting, helping voters with registrations and absentee ballots, educating citizens about the issues and getting ppl excited. basically, insert a slightly more grown-up me onto a generic college campus doing almost the same thing i was doing in undergrad. it's just so funny to think back on that and see where i actually ended up, and how laidback and immobile the actual future-me ended up being.

and now, with only about 24 hours before the results of the election will be revealed, i'm remembering the same feeling i felt four years ago: the terrific electricity of knowing that possibly, in the space of a few hours, a new president will be in office, and potentially great things could begin to happen again. this moment is bringing back memories of me as a freshman in college, of waiting in the writing center late at night watching the results slowly coming in, tired from a day's hard work at the polls in the pouring rain. everyone abuzz with energy and excitement as we held on to our hopes that our work had paid off, replaced by negativity and disbelief when the results eventually revealed a Bush win. i'm hoping and praying to the cosmos that i don't see a tragic repeat of that 2004 election day, because my lack of action this time around will have me even more devastated and angry at myself for the loss.

so, for the sake of memories and posterity, a song for change, and a flashback (a blog post written November 3, 2004 – the eve of election night):

"A Change Is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke [mp3]

-stef

campaign strategies from a maverick

i gotta hand it to him, John McCain has pretty good delivery. i think my favorite is "the Forrest Gump."



lolz,
stef

rhetorical questions

today, while watching the Daily Show, a number of things occurred to me. (pardon my inertia if these are really duh, but they were pretty a-ha to me about a minute ago.)

1) why is it that conservatives champion the "joe six packs," but refuse to pay them living wages? seems like one doesn't follow the other...

2) Trojan Brand Condoms is imploring Americans to "Join the movement to help America evolve. Use a condom every time." i thought that was interesting marketing, because the first thing that came to mind was "wow, i bet the creationists are going to have a problem with that." and then i remembered that creationists are probably also the same bunch teaching abstinence-only sex ed and not using birth control.


i thought the use of the word "evolve" was an interesting choice as well, considering the implications of "the smart choice," the non-ape-ish thing to do. but there's also the idea of "survival of the fittest" – thinning the gene pool and leaving only those best able to survive current conditions. and i thought that maybe in our current state of environmental, political, economic, financial, existential and spiritual duress, how maybe what we need is less "ignorant" people. and i thought of how maybe the "smart" thing to do would be less human reproduction. but then, isn't Trojan missing the demographic that needs birth control the most? hmm... ?

also, i found this segment from the Daily Show on undecided voters particularly on point:



"[McCain and Obama] are totally different! why can't you decide??!!"


my thoughts exactly, Sam Bee.

-stef lee


p.s. whilst organizing and editing tags today, i discovered that "rhetoric" is pretty much a greatest hits of free rad!cal writings. who knew? not me.

p.p.s. scary what-if: Palin as President. just try opening the windows and doors in that office. creeepy!

politickling

tweeted ideas for a debate drinking game!
had i money to buy alcohol, i would probably not be conscious to type these words right now, so consider yrselves lucky!

chatting to my friend Brandon about the first presidential debate (read: a huge disappointment).

so, if you didn't make it thru the debate, read B's and my commentary instead. it will probably save you the 2 hours of life we spent actually watching.

-stef

---

me: I MISS YOU!!!!!

6:11 AM i'm sending you a virtual hug RIGHT NOW

**squuueeeeeeeezzzzeeee!!!!!**

Brandon: and while we hug, I will nonchalantly and secretly work my hand over your luscious booty

6:12 AM me: ahahahahahha

i wouldn't want it any other way!

did u watch teh debates?

Brandon: sho did

me: i did too

but might as well not have

6:13 AM Brandon: for serious

me: i feel like the whole time they were just trying to make each other look foolish

mccain's whole message was "obama is naive"

and obama's was "mccain is a doddering old fool"

6:14 AM we didn't need 2 hours of "debate" to get that, come on!

Brandon: i was really looking forward to the part of this campaign when something substantial would happen, but I'm starting to lose hope that that would actually happen

me: yeah

i was actually excited, until i saw the debate

and realized we're pretty much screwed

Brandon: for serious

6:15 AM me: it's a pretty shitty time to be a politically conscious american

Brandon: agreed

me: on another note,

6:17 AM do you have Lykke Li?

that was the other one i was thinking of sending you

Brandon:

no, i haven't even heard such a crazy name!

me: oh yay!

then i can share some swedish goodness with you!

6:18 AM b/c of course, as with all music of the past 2 or 3 years, it comes from sweden!

Brandon: i have vastly been ignoring the swedes in my life and they need to come back

me: i'm seriously thinking i need to move there

YES

we all do

/ need swedes

6:19 AM OK

so you should listen to the album

it's dance-y

6:20 AM Brandon: ooo!

me: which means you will LOVE it

Brandon: i haven't had something dancey in a while

me: and come on, it's swedish

you should move here and have a dance party with me

we could drive away global warming with our amazing powers of dance

6:21 AM Brandon: that would be only the most amazing solution to our problems ever

me: woudln't it?

6:22 AM i think that we should propose that as the next debate topic

Brandon: i pine for such a resolution to things

me: "senators obama and mccain, if you could fight global warming with the power of dance, what would be yr best moves?"

Brandon: and what would you choose to dance to?

6:23 AM me: i imagine mccain would do the old hip, hand grind

you know, the butter churn

Brandon: if his hip lasts that long

me: hahahahahaha

Brandon: i was kind of impressed that he was actually able to stand for the duration of the debate

me: haha, i hadn't thot of it

6:24 AM oh man, i AM really excited for hte VP debate tho

Brandon: it should certainly be entertaining if nothing else

me: palin's gonna get absolutely thrashed

Brandon: in the post-debate thing when they were interviewing biden he has absolutely no reservations about what he says haha

it was great

me: i don't know if i like biden yet, but SHIT, he is out to embarass her

shoudn't be hard to do tho

Brandon: i like biden

me: yeah, haha, i know

6:25 AM wait, did the VPs already debate?

did i miss it?

Brandon: i think the ticket would be better if it was reversed

me: damn!

Brandon: no, they're next thursday

me: oh, sweeeeeeet!

Brandon: i wonder if the republicans are regretting it yet

me: i hate that ppl are actually more excited about th GOP now that she's on the ticket

haha

6:26 AM i heard some interesting commentary on Countdown with Keith Olbermann today

Brandon: i think that's starting to die down now though

i heard someone call her Caribou Barbie and i thought that was pretty funny

me: some conservative woman writing to say that Palin was an embarassment and she should step down if she knew what was best for her party and her country

i thot that was pretty apt

caribou barbie?

HILARIOUS.

6:27 AM Brandon: yeah, i've seen a lot of commentaries of people telling her she should step down

me: she's gonna fall onher face in the debate on thursday

Brandon: gosh i hope so

6:28 AM me: oh man!!!! (gleeful squealing)

it's gonna be so awesome

i'm gonna plan anight around it

wanna watch together?

Brandon: i thought it was really telling that after the debate they interviewed biden, but palin wasn't there and they interviewed giuliani instead who is just an arse

me: oh man, giuliani...

6:29 AM the GOP just can't catch a break

ha ha

Brandon: idont know what he was watching, but none of his comments made any sense in reference to the debate

6:32 AM me: yeah.. he probly just wanted to talk about 9/11 right?

oh rudy rudy rudy

the GOP's one-hit wonder
"play freebird!"

disgusted.

so today was a long day. my special ed students left school on friday and forgot ALL of the math they learned in the last week over the weekend. we came back today and had to relearn EVERYTHING about subtraction. seriously, everything. like, borrowing, taking away the one, dropping the decimal points, all the bells and whistles. and, they decided today would be a great day to pull out all the tricks: the name-calling, the getting out of seats, the extra hyper attention deficits, the annoying mouth noises, the pencil-tapping, the blank stares, and the gum chewing. all so that my supervisors (TWO of them) could come in to observe and think my classroom has been a complete mess this whole time (which, trust me, it has not been). then, to make it extra fun, the ppl in the office decided today would be a good day to play with PA system at school. imagine shrill squeaking so loud that it lulls you into mental and physical paralysis. and causes you to develop an eye tic. 

oh, and my aide decided she "wasn't feeling well," so she took off early (after, again, dawdling into class 30 minutes late). please, if anyone should be using that excuse for laziness, it should be me.

i didn't eat lunch today because i held my class for lunch detention and worked on their math problems with them, and then my conference period was taken up by two meetings, which lasted the entire time, so i went straight thru my day, 7 to 3, without any break, not even a bathroom break, and no more than 5 minutes to unwind. it's a good thing i decided to risk being late this morning to eat a quick bowl of cereal otherwise i probably would have fainted. oh, which i almost did, while i was driving on the fuckin 10 freeway to go to the bank. 

oh, but all of that was fine and dismissible, compared to this: i was waiting in the lobby of the bank, grading papers and prepping for my classes tomorrow, when i saw some douchebag coming out of there wearing this:

(image source)

i was revolted! those GOP fuckers have proceeded to offend me on yet another level, by appropriating the Rosie the Riveter symbol and superimposing Palin's face on it. i wanted to get out of my seat and beat him in the face with the 6th grade science book i was lugging around at the time, but my teacher brain remembered that "violence is not the answer." still, i was close. i was just that mad. 

so, great. in addition to having to teach my special ed students all the california state standards for 6th grade math, i need to add overthrowing the GOP empire to my list of to-do's. can't a woman just catch a break?!

seriously. i don't have time to canvass and help with voter registration drives (and doing all that in CA might not help that much anyway), but i can't sit down and watch this all happening. DO PPL NOT UNDERSTAND THAT THE WOMAN IS A FUCKIN WHACKO?!? seriously, check it. 

what scares me most is that ppl are actually MORE excited about the GOP now than they were before. whaa??? what kind of world are we living in if ppl become manically obsessed with an unqualified zealot and hypocrite? well, i guess i just answered my own question...

to close, i know that there was a lot of hullabaloo over Obama's pig/lipstick comment, and how the GOP is now accusing Obama of sexism. please, let's not be ridiculous. that's not what the man intended.

but if it looks like a pig, and talks like a pig, i'm certainly not calling it a duck, if you know what i'm saying...

-stephan!e

p.s. to give you a good perspective on the lipstick comment, listen to this segment from NPR.

p.p.s. UPDATE (9/15/08, approx. 10 pm PST): my dear friend Alex had this to say in response: "Stephanie, you live in California, the Democrats automatically win there. You can take a brief respite from trying to bring down the Old-Money, Oil-Profiteering, Fear-Mongering, and from what I hear, Massacre-Inspiring Tyrants of the GOP..." haha. thanks for keeping it real...

Bill Moyers is my elvis

as i usually do in the summer, i've been setting my alarm to wake me up to Democracy Now (sometimes it's the only way i can get up in the mornings).

and today, in a foggy half-sleep state, i thought i was dreaming of the '60s and listening to a poet, back from the dead, encouraging us to revolt and revolution. i was confused.

but as i gradually gained consciousness and listened more closely, i realized what i was actually hearing was a journalist's plea to the American ppl, and that this was actually the keynote speech at the National Conference for Media Reform which i was invited (and now regretting declining) to attend.



the speech itself was beautiful, the pace reminiscent of Ginsberg's "Howl", the urgency appropriate for our times. the post-speech was pretty awesome, too. as Amy Goodman explained, Bill O'Riley (yes, i spelled that wrong. no i'm not gonna change it. that's how much i care) and his slugs were "outing" Dan Rather and Bill Moyers as "leftwingnuts" for speaking at this conference with "these people" (read: progressives, liberals, media critics. oh my, indeed.)

apparently, they dispatched an O'Reilly factor producer to "ambush" and accost Mr. Moyers after his rousing speech. this is the verbal pounding that ensued:



it occurs to me that my generation has had the pleasure and honor of seeing several inspiring media moments in recent years:

Jon Stewart on CrossFire (2004):

"I'm here to confront you, because we need help from the media and they're hurting us..." (transcript here)

Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondents dinner (2006) [click to play]:
"...And as excited as I am to be here with the President, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of FOX News. FOX News gives you both sides of every story: the President's side, and the Vice President's side." (transcript here)

these have had the collective impact, for me anyway, of revealing the spectacular theatre of mainstream news media, and encouraging citizens' critical investigation and dissent.

as Bill Moyers said: "it's up to you to remind us that democracy only works when ordinary people claim it as their own."

-stephanie

a beginner's guide to domination and suppression

how to kill activism, reassert the market's dominance of everyday life, and ruin democracy:

1) authority + passivity

(teach 'em not to think for themselves)

2) empty promises

(keep em running. employ 'carrot and stick')

3) divide & conquer

(kill their communities, take away their friends - better yet, have them do it to themselves)

4) the illusion of choice

(make them think they want/need these things and that they're being taken care of)

you'll have a totalitarian state in no time!

(disclaimer: i, of course, don't agree with any of these things. it was just that while i was writing my thesis today i made a list like this to clarify the points i was going to be making in this particular section of my paper and i thought it was interesting enough to share.)

p.s. it should be noted that all these were, and are, being practiced everyday, in the media industry, and especially the school.

is this what democracy looks like?

i was writing my senior project and was trying to find the source of a great quote ("the private citizen is a fool") i remember reading but don't remember from where (really wishing i had that life search right about now...), when, in my searching, i went to Wikipedia and was slightly amused to find this:


a picture of a ballot box and the caption "Voting is an important part of the democratic process!"

this is a gift! i took a screen shot and plan on using it in my appendices. i love the potential for circular critique this presents: a democratic medium (more importantly, one touted for being unreliable/clouded because of its dependence on popular opinion) pointing to voting (what many political critics - myself included! - would argue is one of the most basic forms of political participation) as an exemplar of democratic practice.

it's wonderful. i'm done! (no need to write this, the image says it all!)

[ha! if only theses could be writ this easily...
and i still don't have the source for that quote...]

-stephanie

dear Hillary and Obama (if you're listening): i live in Ohio, and i'm voting for Nader.

=UGLY! (boo hiss!)

"When again we can hold a fair election on real issues, let's vote, and not till then."

~ W.E.B. DuBois

i love that quote. after spending the majority of my Spring semester reading about democratic philosophy and theorizing about the meaning of democracy in modern America, looking for hope that the youth of America are becoming more engaged in their communities and are participating in political activity, i feel obligated to watch the democratic debates, even though i LOATHE them.

nevermind that most of it rapidly, inevitably devolves into immature bickering and quibbling, or that they NEVER answer the questions, or that they're always using the same empty rhetoric over and over ("Change" vs. "Experience" - as if they're completely separate and we can only have one!) ...

most of all, i hate the spectacle that politics has become. i gave this debate an honest shot. i took half an hour out of my already really packed day to watch the debate in the hopes i'd find something redeeming in either one of the candidates. because we're voting here in Ohio in less than a week, this undecided independent young adult minority woman (an important demographic, i believe?) needs to decide how to get her vote on!

i've been following the debates and the campaigns, with ever-growing disdain and distaste and disinterest and complete lack of faith in our political system. it was tolerable back when John Edwards was still in it. he was sensible, well-spoken, and miraculously managed to diffuse the awkward tension and animosity between Barack and Hillary. but let's face it, the media machine never even gave him a chance, it's always been Obama vs. Clinton from the beginning. and now look at the mess we're in! it doesn't matter who gets the nomination at this point, they're not going to pick each other as running mates (which leaves... Kucinich? if only...) and all this nonsense mud-slinging is doing nothing to get anyone excited about voting for either of their sorry asses!

this is exactly why youth, across the board, in surveys and polls on civic engagement, continually abstain from political activity. BECAUSE IT'S UGLY! why would we want to participate in a system that continually reeks of corruption, greed, equivocation, and disregard for real issues in the name of competition? i hate having to watch adults - full-blown grown-ups dressed up in power suits fer cryin' out loud! - whining and picking on each other to try to win sympathy from a (let's face it) apathetic crowd. these are our supposed leaders in D.C. and i can't even trust them to sit there and have a civilized, well-reasoned discussion for half an hour?! and you want me to vote for them??!!! i can't even believe i made the foolish mistake of turning on the TV to watch this garbage when i didn't even eat dinner today because i had so much work to do, i was worried leaving my room to grab a sandwich would be too much precious time lost. clearly i don't have any sense of propriety!

not that the idea of political theatre should be news to my generation. no, on the contrary, we should be pros at spotting it now. i'll admit i'm exceedingly suspicious of Obama because of all the media hype he's getting. it's almost trendy to be in support of his campaign. now, i can remember maybe 2 years ago or more hearing about the young junior senator from Chicago who was a great orator, and being kinda excited. but after that the spark faded. and when Hillary brought up his inclination to vote "present" on bills, rather than taking a side, that really turned me off. i want stances, not easy passes. and i'm still wary of his predilection to play it safe, taking neutral positions and employing flavorless rhetoric in an effort to offend as little as possible. the tendency to play the middle road reminds me of the mass media industry's practice of producing homogenized, low-quality, formulaic media fare in the interest of accumulating mass audiences, at the expense of accuracy, progress, and authentic representation. you can spin it as "unification," but it looks more to me like ball-less neutrality, and we all know you can't be neutral on a moving train...

at some point in the debate, Hillary and Barack were bickering and talking over the moderators trying to interject their various points of contention (what else is new? yawn yawn, right?) the camera cut to some slick-looking NBC guy, while Hillary was still talking, as he tried to cut to a commercial break (which would be incidentally filled with campaign commercials), saying "TELEVISION DOESN'T STOP!" indeed, it's apparent now, this spectacle does not stop, not for anyone. even if we want it to. we've got to jump off!

so screw it, i've had it. clearly politics are theatre and this theatre is vaudeville. worse, it's bad television!

i've always said a vote for Nader is a wasted vote. so maybe i'll just vote for (*gasp!*) Huckabee. because there is no way in hell our next Chief is going to be called "President Huckabee" (sorry, Mike!)

feeling disenfranchised,
stephan!e