"Fire is motion / Work is repetition / This is my document / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all defenses."

- Cap'N Jazz, "Oh Messy Life," Analphabetapolothology

Monday, August 04, 2008

way w k

(say it out loud: "way w k" = w'A W K = WAY AWKWARD!)

my initiation into LA denizenry:
moved into new apartment without a refrigerator (apparently all LA housing comes sans fridge. what do you crazy CA ppl do? why are you all so possessive of your huge ass kitchen appliances? if we could all just agree to leave those things behind, we could all have fridges in our new housing.)

sitting in apartment, roommate left to go to work an hour away, taking the car and the only working set of keys with him. thus, i cannot leave the apt to walk down the street to buy food from the store. working all night and all morning on my grad class's papers, i'm getting light-headed from lack of nourishment. between yesterday at 3 pm and today at 2 pm, i've only had one apple and a small box of raisins.

i look online for food that comes to me. i try Green Truck first (environmentally friendly organic gourmet food service based in Culver City! how delightful!) – BUT, they don't deliver on Mondays! bummer mother. so i try the next thing i can think of: Pizza Hut (haha, total 180).

so i'm on the phone with Pizza Hut. i give the guy my name and phone number and address. he makes some unintelligible joke about my name –
guy: "Stephanie Lee? Are you related to *mumble mumble* Lee?"
me: "what?"
guy: "mumble mumble"
me: no response
guy: "nevermind."

so i'm trying to get the cheapest pizza i can. i ask the guy on the phone if there are any specials, any $5 pizza deals or anything that will save my hard-earned (and quickly depleting) money. he asks if i have any coupons and i explain that no, i don't eat a lot of pizza and i just moved here, so no coupons or anything of the like. he asks me where i'm from, i say KY. he asks if i'm here for school and i say no, "i'm here to teach." he says he's surprised b/c i sound so young and at that point i'm wondering how the focus has turned away from the pizza and onto me.

i redirect: "so, how about that pizza?" and he says he'll give me the discount anyway and i wrap up my order. i don't feel good about giving him my credit card number and was really defensive when he asked for the expiration date. i'm thinking i don't want him to steal my identity after i reject him for a date. he tells me the order total and i say "great, thanks."

he asks me if i like going to concerts and i say yes as a knee-jerk (i'd just finished ordering tickets to a show at the Troubadour, so i have concerts on my mind). he says his friends are dj's and it'd be cool if i wanted to go to one of their parties some time. i tell him that'd be cool, my friend Tara is a dj too and she'd probably like to meet other ppl in the business. he gives me his phone number (which i write down without thinking but now keep so i know which call not to answer) and then tells me he'll call me some time. i tell him not to call after 10pm (thinking that a pretty unreasonable time), "because i teach in the mornings" (even though i don't start for almost another month). he says he'll only call on fridays. great...

i hang up the phone. i'm not even hungry any more. now i'm worried about this guy having my phone # and my address, knowing way too much about me without me really volunteering the information. i feel like my privacy has been violated. i feel sad, confused, overwhelmed. memories of a horrible experience in an airport hotel resurface. i feel guilty. i think about my boyfriend and how i miss him right now. i try to devise plans to diffuse the situation and avoid any further awkward exchanges. i swear off pizza delivery from now on (next time, i'll just wait until Tuesday and order the healthy stuff!)

Ben is coming to visit in just 11 more days! my family comes in only 3! i think i can be resourceful and clever enough to hold off any creepy advances from Pizza Boy until my family is in town (my mom just broke her foot. = fiberglass cast to groin anyone?). and then, if he is still persistent enough to call, i will take him up on the party offer, and bring Ben along. that should take care of things.

20 minutes later, the pizza came. i hid behind a wall while my roommate Michael picked it up. the delivery person was a cute little old lady. i asked her if the tip money went to her or the company. she said the company. i gave her a tip in cash, put it in her hands, and then told her to have a great day. she scampered away (thank god she didn't try to hit on me – i wasn't her type).

and the pizza? too salty.


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