"Fire is motion / Work is repetition / This is my document / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all defenses."

- Cap'N Jazz, "Oh Messy Life," Analphabetapolothology

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

new lows


i am sitting on a towel on the floor of my bathroom, a pile of folders and papers and books beside me, trying to keep warm with a laptop in my lap and sitting as close as i can to the only heater in the entire apartment, a Thermodor built into the wall (i suspect my current use for it fails to meet its intended purpose – my guess being to eliminate bathroom odors? i dunno, that's based solely on the name and what i've heard about ppl lighting matches after taking shits: i was told the flame "burns the bad air" so you can't smell it any more, but i always thought that didn't make sense and was bad household science. anyway...)

i'm 2.5 weeks away from a blissful retreat to my home state, and only a few grad school projects away from the end of this forsaken semester, but this lump of (forgive me) shit before me is too huge to surmount, it seems. i am teetering on incompletes for 2 of the 3 grad classes and it is so fucking cold in my apartment right now, i can't get anything done. it's either crawl into bed, or sit on the floor of the bathroom next to the heater. and so it goes...

i'm fighting nausea and panic and utter depression and lack of excitement, and all from the floor 2 feet away from a fucking toilet. thank cheeses i'm the only one who uses it and i just cleaned it the other day, or this would be a really long miserable night indeed.

to the future!
-stephan!e

3 comments:

Chelsea said...

hang in there, my friend, you're almost home! and is that thing glowing purple? it looks like something out of a mad scientist's laboratory in some old movie.

OmegaRadium said...

I've always had a deep level of respect for anyone willing to put themselves through the horrors of teaching in the US, my dad first and foremost. The thing you have to remember is that despite all the bureaucratic nonsense and constant headaches, you will make a difference in the life of at least some of your students.

I had the opportunity to stand up for one of my favorite teachers when things go rough for him. Unfortunately it wasn't enough to save his job, but my musings helped him land a better job in another city.

Benjamin Kuebrich said...

great pic! electric heaters are cheap. love,