"Fire is motion / Work is repetition / This is my document / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all defenses."

- Cap'N Jazz, "Oh Messy Life," Analphabetapolothology

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

laughing at life's absurdities

in coming back to school with the intentions of taking as few classes as possible, i somehow ended up taking 26 credit hours worth (twice what i had intended!) b/c i am trying to add grad-level classes, i have had to go to all my classes, both ones i've signed up for and those for which i am awaiting approval. but in running back and forth between classes, i have also managed to miss parts of most of my undergrad classes, causing me to need to drop them. so, in trying to take 26 credit hours, i may now be reduced to none at all. that's how yesterday's math makes sense.
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in other news, i got an email from my school today announcing fellowships from the department of homeland security! obviously, i was all a-flutter with unspeakable joy and wonderment! how my heart doth beat with anticipation...

but i was all agape with disappointment when i looked only a little deeper into the situation:


the department of homeland security's fellowships are only offered to science and technology students who can help develop and implement "innovations that can be applied to the DHS mission." what mission you ask? well, this one of course:

let's take a closer look:

mmm, ok, yeah. i'm glad the department of homeland security could help me discern what it is they actually do. it's all so clear to me now!

and of course, i'm glad to see the security of our homeland is in the hands of such conscientious and non-colorblind individuals.
i was glad, as you should be, to note that our nation's level of security can be defined so succinctly, so poignantly, so colorfully. it gives a whole new meaning to terror when i can see it on a sliding scale of high energy visible light.

so when speaking with visitors to our strange homeland, and the question of national security comes up (as it inevitably will) in conversation, you can reply coolly and knowingly, "why, dear sir/madam, it is currently ORANGE. you're lucky: a few years ago, we were in a horrible state of an utterly unflattering, unappetizing, unwelcoming MUSTARD YELLOW. welcome to America!"

clever people. always thinking...
-stephan!e

4 comments:

remaerdyaD said...

I am quite hardened against anything that smells of even plain vanilla liberalism - perhaps my own response to terror So I have a problem even when anyone tells me that my freedom depends on somebody else, like paranoid government, or something else, like a psycho army of liberatin' democracy Or like when our hero Bono or Gates goes on some moralistic crusade, for that matter A blogger called Jobs' iPhone the, "Jesus Phone" - ending poverty

Having this thing in my music composition - not a rutt, just a thing, do not know if it relates Since I saw footage of tanks rolling into Baghdad with soldiers blasting rock and roll through their headsets, my perspective on popular music is going similar to that of liberalism... Am I becoming militant What is wrong with me

Can you help me stephan!e
~ from an impatient chuckler, clinging today to his arabic scarf

Brian said...

That's why they need you Steph. You can paint the world in a rainbow of colors... err, I think M&M's have already got that covered. ;)

stephan!e lee said...

haha, thanks to both of you for making my day a brighter one.

r: i know how you feel about music. it's weird but country and rock and roll easily become conflated with militant patriotism, the new fascist anthems for our age. rock and roll has always been the theme music for hyper masculine displays of masturbatory ego-stroking. and country, as we see with the ridiculous toby keith anthem "bombs over baghdad" (?) is not much different. i don't know what to say, other than music can be a reflection or extension of a lot of societal problems. that's why i listen mostly to indie and foreign music. it's still political, and it's put out by independent labels, with much more power given to individual artists.

brian: i think it's skittles. "taste the rainbow" right? ;-)

love, in all its colors.
-stephan!e

remaerdyaD said...

Thanx stephan!e, you are the greatest My gosh, you are just so helpful (-: Nice to go to a personal blog and find someone so receptive - Think I will check out that song, again, matter-of-factly

Do they have sugar-free skittles - I know bought sugar free gummies for a xmus present this year... anyhoo

peace and candy

btw, I got a security warning in my browser from stephan!e's thumbnail above, maybe because the filename is obscure