"Fire is motion / Work is repetition / This is my document / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all defenses."

- Cap'N Jazz, "Oh Messy Life," Analphabetapolothology

Thursday, January 04, 2007

time travel is easy

yesterday, i showed you pictures from travel books i found from my childhood.

today, i share more intimate glimpses into the past.

first, pictures from this book i made in Montessori school*:
the scribbled "copyright" on the inside cover indicates that i made this in 1995. that was a full 12 years ago. the book is a delicate creation titled "Grown-ups always do everything!" and features 20 unique pages of pencil drawings paired with different privileges of the older class i envied as a 9-year-old imprisoned in the educational system.
it is handbound: as i remember, i drew the pictures in sequence in a booklet of salvaged computer paper, then folded the pages together, made holes in the crease and threaded them together. i then glued the end pages to the covers, which were cardboard pieces i covered in a soft fabric (you can see this detail in the photo).
(for those interested in the art of self-binding, this is a simplified version of case-binding.)

what i find most interesting was the "about the author" on the back inside cover:
notice how i mis-typed my own birthday (Dec 26, not 29) and how my goal "is to someday be a famous writer." where did that young girl go?


finding this treasure brings back fond memories of elementary school, and being left to my own devices, i recall spending recesses and afterschools playing with paper materials, making countless notebooks and sketchbooks of various sizes and colors, giving them to friends and family, keeping some for myself for later writing. i determined to use every book i made for a story or novel (as i said, i had dreams of being a writer. and evidently, a self-published one.)

i once gave a boyfriend a hand-bound book i made in 8th grade, a unique gift because i had marbleized paper for the covers, and bound it in japanese style, with a beaded tassle bookmark.


seriously, where did that young dreamer go?

finding these relics from childhood makes me feel sad for dreams i've let go. but it also gives me renewed faith in the person i am. and a sense of duty to the past.

but the past is merely a distant present. and the future is the present is the past. why leave book-binding in the past? why allow self-publication to be a left-behind childhood dream. i'm self-binding my senior thesis. let's call it a tribute to the dreamers.

tomorrow: more pictures from the past.

to the past, and its presents,

*note to self: research the Montessori method for your senior project. according to Webster's, the Montessori method emphasizes developing children's "natural" interests, rather than following a strict formal curriculum. this has interesting developmental implications, and is as close a method to facilitated autodidacticism that i can think of in an extant institutional setting.


remaerdyaD said...

How are ya now

Blog looks great - dare say it has improved even since I first came over (call me hooked!)

I would answer your question in a way that probably sounds like a total lie (especially if you were one who knew me) - I am totally living out most of my dreams of childhood Like, I pursued a job at nasa I might have said, like "astronaut", that sort of thing But what I really wanted to do was just pursue outer space as an explorer, and I was always very critical of Eisteinian physics and the overemphasis on theoretical science and institutional study

During adultization, I was able to get rid of all of the fluff to make me look all cute and naive, and just pursue it with hell given to the consequences Basically, I think it just means that instead of trying to be Einstein I would just be myself So I explore a lot with simple studies in astronomy I might put in my fiction, or address a theory I find retarded without maturity or even education (like how the internet gives us all of this access to info but ends up sterilizing our minds from writing anything that might be even remotely wrong or factually incorrect for fear of... well, fear of shame imho)

Ugh, I do not think that makes any sense

With walking down memory lane, I might be doing a big project soonish Let me just write, I have collected enough stuff for one heavenly kick arse scrap book

mark this comment "spam"

stephan!e lee said...

u should check out the autonomous astronauts link in my sidebar, under "sweet sausage links."

they're totally indie astro enthusiasts, such as yourself. screw NASA and the government. space exploration belongs to the people!

and thanks for the compliment. i have been rather proud of the blog in the last few days. i FEEL it improving.

glad you're hooked. ;-)

remaerdyaD said...

Dig = if I can help sweep the floor or whatever, just holler... thought I noticed some new ideas being put forth by blogger - I was a programmer ages ago and do not know new languages (like html) but can usually resource time for a learning curve and such (I am actually pretty uneducated and at times semi-literate, but believe me, I can charm the scales off of any chameleon and run circles around the best of the best (did I mention I can be a bit arrogant?))

Just realize I do not have email/smtp, so it will just have to be in this comments section (sorry if this is all completely unhelpful then)

to Pleiades... and beyond!!!...-ond ... -ond...

Anonymous said...

I like your ideas but I do not understand for the life of me why people have stopped capitalizing their "I" why is that?? It shows a laziness and a lack of consierdation for the english language.

stephan!e lee said...

anon -

i personally don't capitalize the i's because i think they are more interesting aesthetically than the capitalized 'I'. it seems more like the 'i' i would want to be, with a head or eye sticking out to observe everything.

also, you'll notice i don't capitalize a lot of other things, that i don't really adhere to grammar rules in general. i do this intentionally (everything with a [sic]) so as to challenge the grammars of written language, that mirror the grammars of everyday life.

so i wouldn't say it's a "lack of consideration for the english language" (no more so than wrongful spelling is, ahem) but actually shows more consideration for language's power, and thus, a willful act not to defer to it.