"Fire is motion / Work is repetition / This is my document / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all defenses."

- Cap'N Jazz, "Oh Messy Life," Analphabetapolothology

Monday, October 15, 2007

the heart stops beating

i'm thinking my irregular heartbeats are a physiological manifestation of heartbreak. i exercised today, my heart is not getting any stronger.

"Every time you stop loving someone, your heart loses some of its blush. It vanishes. It's cancelled. & you wonder which of your feelings you'll no longer have the capacity to feel again. How much less am I, today, than I was yesterday?" - from here.

---

i think i'm going to build (or dig, rather) a spooning hole. yeah, that way when i say "i just wanna crawl in a hole..." i can actually follow thru. "say what you mean," you know? think of it as a watering hole, but for spooning. people need a daily dosage of spooning to stay healthy, i think. and this is the perfect way to ensure your daily quotient.

i'm imagining a large pod-like structure. doesn't have to be underground... something lined with soft, nice, gentle things. maybe childhood security blankets. worn out sweatshirts. soft alpaca mittens. purring cats and sleeping bear cubs. and lots of friends and cups of hot tea.

i wish i could crawl into a hole right now.
-stef
10.11.07

5 comments:

Brian said...

((((((Steph))))))

I'll snuggle with you in that place. I'm there a lot myself. Friends are always good for a hug and a pat on the back.

remaerdyad said...

Dear steph jing the organizer
OMG! Just here at a stop by the highway and writing to ur blog. Again!

I predict whe'll meet one day in transit. Anyways, lots of talk round here about these big highway stops after funding for some have actually brought local art stores up next to F.F. (fast food, or use other f's).

I am thinking the same, along with other related activities under way which I will keep to myself as top secret as I leave the EXIT back for the highway and await reading Rushdie to - and giving this big german toy I got for - my two year old niece.

~ txt enter'd apropos oct.5

stephan!e lee said...

friends,

i predict we'll all meet one day in person. i'll have these spooning holes built/dug all over the place by then (and will be happy and rich from this venture) and we'll all have a place to snuggle and keep warm.

until then,
stephan!e

The ZenFo Pro said...

Lol, aww, hon. Much love from the other side o' campus. Yeah, love, in the words of The J. Geils Band, stinks.

Holes? Hah. Chica, we live in Oxford. Dig a spooning hole anywhere, and just when you really need it, there's some drunkass moron sleeping off his hangover, collar popped and reeking of Natty Lite and CJs, in your sacred space.

My door's always open - office or home. Or one my Uptown offices :P

stephan!e lee said...

"Dig a spooning hole anywhere, and just when you really need it, there's some drunkass moron sleeping off his hangover, collar popped and reeking of Natty Lite and CJs, in your sacred space."

haha HA! true true...

thanks, J.
-stef