"Fire is motion / Work is repetition / This is my document / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all defenses."

- Cap'N Jazz, "Oh Messy Life," Analphabetapolothology

Saturday, October 20, 2007

i don't understand life sometimes...

i come home yesterday to check my email. i see an unread message titled "On Joey." i open it up and this is what i find:

From: William J. Gracie, Jr.
Dean, School of Interdisciplinary
Studies/Western College Program
To: The Western Community


I deeply regret having to write with very sad news:
Joey Eger, a junior Western major, was struck and killed by a train in Oxford early this morning. Joey¹s death was confirmed in mid-afternoon today...


that's where i stop. what day is it? what time? how long have i been away? what steps did i take? what was the last conversation i had, the last glance exchanged, the last thought, the last sensation on my face? when was the last time? when? where? what? why? why? always, still, continually: why?...

i watch as a plug is pulled, memories suddenly - rapidly - draining away. and a ghost is formed...

death confuses me. but life is no more certain. it doesn't seem fair to have such trivial thoughts when there is so much pointless loss occurring around us. be it accidents, or pointless wars, or suicides or illness, i don't understand...

it seems such a delicate thing. so much precious energy moving in such fragile bones and gentle flesh. suddenly limp, disappeared, evaporated.

where do we go?
-stephanie


to the sparkle-eyed boy who lived above me, who i'll never forget meeting because his room emitted a bright blue glow, because he was blasting Backstreet Boys' "As Long as You Love Me" on his stereo system the first time we met, and because he had one of the kindest hearts around. let us remember Joey Eger, and his life. and let us not cry or be sad, but laugh and celebrate the energy and good humor he once graced us with.
unfortunately (or fortunately) this is my only picture of Joey. that's him on the left, making a face that never fails to make me laugh out loud. that's Joey for you, always putting a smile on your face.

rest in peace, friend.

6 comments:

Tahnee said...

I knew Joey too, we went to high school together. It is hard to imagine he is gone. I know him as someone who was always really really funny. I don't think there was ever a moment where he wasn't smiling. He was one of the coolest guys that I knew at my school.

The ZenFo Pro said...

This is a difficult time, I think, for the entire Miami/Oxford community. Not gonna say much, just wanted to leave a note...

Anonymous said...

Crusty adult here. I knew Joey. Know his parents much better. You are absolutley right. Joey was life. Air. Kindness. He was bright and shiny. And make sure all of you know this...despite whatever you hear. Joey's vision and thoughts were momentarily misguided. MIsguided by things outside of his being. Momentarily. It was all that fast...unfortunately. Hopefully, I will see you all soon celebrating this beautiful man. AA

stephan!e lee said...

i'm torn up over it, still can't believe it.

it finally hit me today, thinking about going to the funeral, and all these kids my age filling a space, some of us haven't seen each other in 2 or 3 years, coming back together to say goodbye to one of our own. one of the Western community...

i don't get worked up easily, but i was crying for 2 hours straight. just the thought of all of us, KIDS, still, and how we're all so young but dealing with adult-things. it filled my heart with such despair.

i don't understand... how could life have been that bad that Joey, of all people, couldn't stand up to it any more. it just doesn't seem fair.

-stephanie

Anonymous said...

Listen carefully to me. Joey was not a suicide risk. He lived ife, even up until his final moments, happily and bravely. He was momentarily filled with darkness from outside influences. He was impetuous (which we loved and hated about him). And unfortunaltely, he made a bad choice in a moments time. We half laughing/half crying have said that we could see Joey seconds after the fact standing there saying, "Now that probvably wasn't my best idea." Forgive him for that and remember him exactly how you do - gregarious, fun, and indigo. AA

Anonymous said...

You are absolutely right about Joey, we want to remember him the way that he always was: happy, loving,caring,frighteningly witty, and an overall wonderful guy. I'm Joey's cousin and the profound sense of loss felt by our family is extremely palpable. The last time I saw Joey was at our Uncle's wedding and Joey drove my car into a sand dune....one of the single most hilarious experiences I've ever had in my life. I can remember Joey all the way back to when he was a toddler and his life has brought nothing but smiles. God just wanted Joey to make up songs for him, that's all..