"Fire is motion / Work is repetition / This is my document / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all we've done / We are all all defenses."

- Cap'N Jazz, "Oh Messy Life," Analphabetapolothology

Sunday, December 23, 2007

fragments of existence

sorry for the dreary lack of posts lately. i've not been doing well, december 2007 is becoming my least favorite month, i think. thank the Egyptians it's almost over.

for lack of anything more interesting, here's a glimpse into my recent holy daze: since i've been home, i haven't done anything but eat, sleep, freak out about senior project, sleep, get sick*, or freak out. (well ok, i've played a lot of piano too, but that's kinda a foil to the freaking out...)

*funny story about my health: i went into the doctor's office last wednesday to, supposedly, wrap up my hepatitis immunizations. since i got one in the summer before i went to Mongolia, my dad said if i had another within a year, i would be immune for life. and with me already running the gamut of vaccinations (this makes my 5th shot this year! hep 1, HPV shots 1 and 2, flu, and now hep 2) i thought, 'what's another shot?'

well, apparently i was too trusting of my local health care professionals. i should have known something was wrong the moment they failed to find my immunizations record. i had to insist that i got a hepatitis shot over the summer before i went abroad. after that, they told me that i'm supposed to get the second shot in the series within a month of the first one (which, do the math, already sounds like a bad idea, if i got the first in MAY). but after phoning to the ppl in the hospital basement, the nurse finally said OK and decided to go ahead with it.

turns out, because of my apparently missing record, the shot they gave me on Wednesday was for hepatitis B, not A like i was supposed to get. which explains a lot. the hep A shots are just 2 shots within a year of each other. the hep B shots are a series of 3. furthermore, i've ALREADY gotten the series, i've been immune since i was a kid!

so, let's recap, shall we? i'm STILL not immunized for hep A. AND, i've gotten shot 2 in a series of 3, without having had shot 1 and without plans to get shot 3. and all this having ALREADY been covered for hep B anyway. now i'm showing signs of jaundice, a symptom of hepatitis B. let's hope those childhood shots can at least keep me from developing hepatitis in my later life after having it reintroduced into my bloodstream by a syringe-happy nurse. yay for happy endings!

oh, and a senior project update: Bill hated my "first" 30 pages, despite both Gracie and Nick loving it. he threatens to not graduate me and to not give me my degree, AGAIN (this is #3, if anyone is keeping count), and he's given me an incomplete in the class, dropping my GPA to the absolute lowest i've ever seen it in my life, a 2.27, which might cause my scholarships to be taken away, and now he's set a Jan 1 deadline for the "new" 30 pages, which i am frantically trying to start writing but feeling ever more depressed each day i try to write it.

if it's any indication as to the kind of duress i'm facing, my gmail chat statuses from the last 24 hours:

FUCK! when did i run out of time??!!!

when did my major become something i detested so much?

all i want for Christmas and my birthday is to be done with senior project and well on my way to graduating in May...

it's snowing in Lexington after 60 degree weather, and i FINALLY started on my project... this day is MAGIC.

pls someone just shoot me. or better yet, shoot [name of oppressor].

tiny fists of rage!!!


tniaS remaerdyaD said...

Geez, I hope you get you diploma. Me kindof got mental block as the only person I know who is really smart is my sister who was been in university for like eleven years or something. Proly still is (except for expecting and being married now...). I know my first pieces I did as a writer went something: no, I cannot get published locally bcos I have "too many words" in my poetry; my GF threw my fiction first (handwritten) draft in the garbage; my songs sometimes have the f-word, so I am banned from any stages around here (even the hic ones)...

Therefore, in conclusion, the best you can do is get panned by idiots who have a-thoratay.

As for vaccines, I am not aware, as I am sure you know, that any vaccine, which is made of like dead viruses, cannot vaccinate on one shot. But health pro's also know we live in a Magic Pill society - like roger ramjet and his proton energy pills. Thus you have to dumb it down to john q. public so you can get their fat tissues in the door and you can penetrate their dermis with that cold steely needle.

I think that the big problem with medicine today is not just private ownership (which I am guessing is why your records are awry - ie a different group/corporation monitored you early process). I think that the problem is the expectation that because you have schooling and degree and even experience that you know a goddam thing about medicine. I have definately learned that even with a tried and true testing of, write, vaccination, processes are not guarantees and we should all be way, way more self-defencive. Like going to another is a guarantee of spreading/getting strains for which immune systems are not equipped to handle. Your childhood vaccines might not cover new strains. Who knows, maybe certain strengths of viruses, relative to the numbers of virues when exposed, may over power a vaccination. And with corporations involved in the processed, governed by private medicine, what guarantee is there that you vaccination is even a vaccine. I mean, the whole reason you get shot the second time is to mark the nucleus of the virus into your immune system - otherwise you might just as well shoot yourself (ie with saline or something).

BTW, are you scared you might have hep with your symptom?

Anyways, you are proly the smartest - at least the top ten - of anyone I know. So if you do not get a degree, I will probably suspect you are amazingly smart as hell.

I sureptitiously grant you... PASSED!
innocuous bearhugs (me does = 6'1") and cheeky kisses,
~ santa remaerdyaD

Postscript my first pwesent was a squarebob batteried ornament from my mother that plays the theme song (I watch it a lot). I think after seeing the queen got her own youtube account (...rolls eyes...) I would like my youtube hack to work so I can publish, or I dunno, the cartoon I made about Santa's imprison childhood labourer and a certain attack cat with very sharp claws. Well, like I write, just "maybe" I would publish that.

remaerdyaD said...

Sigh, sorry if my writing is illegible...

remaerdyaD breaks out the white chocolate brandy and waves bye

stephan!e lee said...

dear remaerdyaD:

thank you for the honorary virtual degree! it shall go atop my virtual shelf with all my virtual books and songs of praise! it's a highly prized and precious thing. thanks truly madly deeply from my irregularly beating bosom!

and white chocolate brandy! yummie...

merry Xmas and XXX's

Rae Jin Devine said...

"tiny fists of rage!!!

The comedic timing was absolutely perfect here. The fact that I know you in person, and thus have seen you say/do this, is merely a wonderful bonus.

I'm back in the States Stephanie and despite us not being very close I can honestly say I've missed you.

I'll be visiting Miami soon and hope to see you!

stephan!e lee said...


this is fantastic news! i can't wait to hear all about your travels in S Korea, and to see you again. i can attest to many others being equally thrilled at yr return.

but hark, are you not returning to Miami?? i wish the same awaited me...